I got my nails did on Saturday, courtesy of my awesome friend who had a two-fer gift certificate. I wanted something done with those gems that they set in, or perhaps some airbrushing, but the place was too classy for a sleazehound like me.
It was all fluffy pillows, and “let me bring you some more water,” and delightfully-scented air. And now I have nails that match my hair, because nail polish of any other color will absorb my hair color. So I went for the fuscia in the first place. I felt like I didn’t belong there, like I had to keep reminding myself to use my indoor voice.
The lady did hook me up, though. She busted out the sparkles and painted half of my nails diagonally with it. Now I feel like I have little professional figure skaters on each finger, just like the trashy glitter rags that they wear. In no other profession are you allowed to look like a whore who fell into a wood chipper, while wearing Hooters tights. Type faster, girls! Triple lutz!
Anyway, I think I can keep up on them now. But I told my friend that next time I have to get something sparkly implanted, or get some kitties airbrushed on. I am diving into a big pool of sleaze and I can’t stop. I now have hoop earrings that are so large they brush my shoulders. When I go out I chew gum and wear lipstick that also matches my hair.
For our anniversary, Mr. Husband is getting a tattoo of, what else? my name. And he is getting a shiny new pair of aviator glasses. Nasty! I am trying to talk him into a mullet but he is not having it.
Help! I feel a perm coming on! I am turning into Debi Mazar! Intervention, please!
Well, off to line the inside of my eyelids, hee hee hee.
Hey… Rick here again. I just went on http://new.search.yahoo.com/ and found out this site is the first thing that comes up when you search for “asshole”. Awesome!
Hey, I recently saw, I believe it was in last month’s “Bazaar”, that BLUE mascara is back in! Just think of the possiblities! I was sure that that was dead, but I see that the fashion world will resurrect ANYTHING to make us look more, um, “beautiful”. But WHY THE EIGHTIES?????!!!!! Everyone I know is so happy that 80s “fashion” died, and I cannot, for the life of me imagine anyone looking at that and going, “wow! blue eyeliner is SO HOT!”. Does this mean that kids today are as deluded as we were? Has the world made no progress? I weep for the future….
Yay! Blue eyeliner! :)
Wait–lining the inside of eyes is Debbie Mazar? But that’s my secret trick.
I’m all for girly. Now I realize I am running certain risks, though.
Oh wait, it’s OK–I wear pants. Isn’t it OK to wear sparkly nails and black eyeliner in a black pantsuit. Don’t that class it up a bit?
I’m SO JEALOUS OF THAT TATOO THING! My husband says they won’t bury him in the Orthodox cemetery if he gets a tatoo but I know that’s just as an excuse ’cause he’s a reform Jew!
As long as you don’t start idolizing Tammy Faye Baker, I think it’s safe.
I *think*…
Are you kidding??!!! Tammy Faye is SO COOL!!! Haven’t you seen “The Eyes Of Tammy Faye”? She ROCKS!!
Asshole + Jackass = Asstastic!!!!!
wow. he should go for the mullet. it’s coming back i tell you.
and an el camino
and some eddie money cds.
you two rawk!
LMAO@line the inside of your eyelids…I remember those days…
Dangit, SJ, how far out of the loop am I???? I didn’t even know you were back writing your blog, and it’s been like what, a bazillion years now?? *slaps forehead* LoL
Anyway, now I found you again, so the stalking will begin anew. *cackle* :D
mmm…guy from jackass…
So will you be a-draping yourself in pleather, Miss SJ? Or maybe some sort of tiger-print?
BITCH YOU!