Honestly, Why Haven’t We Had Sex Yet?

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Ruby poked me this morning at breakfast because she noticed I have not posted in a week. I keep opening my little box, staring at it, and closing it again. I feel like I am somewhat on autopilot right now. I could copypasta any post from the last three months and it would all be the same: kid does something cute, I do something stupid, still dropping resumes into the black void. WHATEVER. I live. Someone has a crush on me and it may be just about perfect because she is super busy like me and wants something casual datey, but is also crazy smart and a wine snob. Also SO HOT SHE’S MAKIN ME SEXIST. So I will report if something comes up. Mutual admiration society FTW.

So I post a meme for you, because I am tired of 25 Things I Learned About Your Mom (Because I Am Shagging Her LOL). It’s the new meme craze sweeping the nation (of internet rejects): Honestly, why haven’t we had sex yet? Go forth and ask people in your IM/IRC. Let me know if you get a bite! I pestered people in my favorite IRC. Names changed to protect the guilty.

* MrFruity has joined #irc
I, Asshole: MrFruity, honestly, why haven’t we just had sex yet?
MrFruity: What?
I, Asshole: Well?
Tigerlilley: ?
* MrFruity has no idea what you’re talking about.

I, Asshole: Strainer, honestly, why haven’t we just had sex yet?
Strainer: LOL
Strainer: I may have to ask that, myself.
I, Asshole: Win ding ding ding ding

NotoriousP.E.R.V.: You’re better off popping caffeine pills than drinking “energy drinks”.
Tigerlilley: :D
I, Asshole: NO
Tigerlilley: :D :D
Tigerlilley: You have to say it
I, Asshole: Alright, Tiger
I, Asshole: “NotoriousP.E.R.V., honestly why haven’t we just had sex yet.”
NotoriousP.E.R.V.: Er, what?
AnnoyingBint: Asshole, it doesn’t work with the quotes.
NotoriousP.E.R.V.: Yeah, I wondered who you were quoting.
I, Asshole: That was my reluctant voice.
* I, Asshole continues to wait for IRCPrude

* FirstTimeInTheRoom (~Database@host81-156-211-8.range81-156.btcentralplus.com) has joined #IRC
I, Asshole: FTitR, honestly, why haven’t we just had sex yet?
* FirstTimeInTheRoom (~Database@host81-156-211-8.range81-156.btcentralplus.com) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer )

I, Asshole: Whiteknight, honestly, why haven’t we just had sex yet?
whiteknight: And aside from distance and the fact that I kinda have a girlfriend, no real reason
I, Asshole: YES!
I, Asshole: That’s almost a maybe

I, Asshole: GoldenBoy, honestly, why haven’t we just had sex yet?
GoldenBoy: We have.

BEST.

40 thoughts on “Honestly, Why Haven’t We Had Sex Yet?”

  1. I especially love your encoded names. I totally don’t know who any of these people are and I will never be able to figure it out! Oh noez!

  3. FirstTimeInTheRoom is a lie. That was the alternate of a certain 12 already in the room, as shown by Ident. :P

  4. I’m still pissed that when I asked you, all I got was a lame airfare response. :(

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