This weekend, I put my spare chooks up on craigslist. Holy Recockulous Mistake, Bartman. Well, that was my bads. Next time I will go straight for the chicken board I have had luck with in the past. It turns out the purpose of craigslist is to entice hamtards to email you with bizarre, misspelled questions and then never reply to your response.
However, we did get one reply from a person who was legitimately interested in buying one of our chickens. She came, took the Easter Egger away, paid her moneys, and all was well. She did mention in passing that she had to get rid of one of her chickens earlier this summer because it turned out to be a rooster. Well, these things happen, yes? Ours was to replace it.
This morning we get a phone call from the chicken-buyer.
“This is not going to work out!” she said. “This chicken makes noise at 6 a.m.! There is a newborn next door! I think this is a rooster!”
SERIOUSLY? Are you for real. Are you? You are not. Did you get rid of your other chicken because it was cackling early in the morning as well?
P. said we would call her back, but no. JUST NO.
9:06 AM P: i picked up because i figured it was her when it came through as blocked and i thought either something had happened to Saffron or she wanted another chicken
 me: Hmmm
 P: you know, something reasonable?
 me: How did it finish, the conversation?
 P: why do i always think people will be reasonable?
 me: You can’t make someone take their chicken back.
 P: i said i’d call her later
 me: DON’T
 Let her figure it out. Moron.
9:07 AM me: CHICKEN MAEK NOISE
 P: yeah i guess
 me: What a dumbass
 P: but in spite of her being an idiot, i wonder if we take the chicken back, could we turn around and unload it on backyard chooks to somebody who actually wants a chicken?
9:08 AM me: Yeah, but she can’t have her money back.
 *crosses arms*
 P: oh yeah, i’m all about the idiot tax
 *nods head decisively*
“chookiat emptor” made me snort. A+, would buy again.
Better than trying to put cats on craigslist. Even with an adoption fee to weed out the crazy, I got buttloads of crazy. Asking if her fur is “silky and sexy” or asking if they could pick her up now nownownownownownow.
I kept her. New asthma or not.
“I think this is a rooster?” Really?
big ole bag of WTF!
Welcome back btw!
“Holy Recockulous Mistake, Bartman” is so completely quotable that I intend to go out to the bar tonight, just to try it out.
Craigslist is officially ONLY for selling trash, trying to get people to pay you to come do manual labor for you, OR getting some tail. I did once find a rental house on CL, but the landlord was freaking insane and kept trying to convince me the neighbors wanted to rape me. I left after 6 months. True story!