Mr. Husband and I had a quiet Friday night alone; the girlie was shuttled off to the grandparents’ to get overstuffed on doughnuts and Frosted Flakes (motto: “From Zero-to-Nutty in four minutes for three-year-olds who are accustomed to eggs and fruit for breakfast.”)
Mr. Husband was making an anus in his cigar with one of our nice wooden chopsticks; he doesn’t like to cut the end off.
“That reminds me of a dream I had once,” I said.
“What’s that?” he said.
“I dreamt I was with this guy whose entire body was covered in penises. They were everywhere. His nose was a penis. He had tiny ones all over his face and torso. Every part of the body that protrudes was a penis. And all the parts inbetween.”
“Gah! What does that have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know, I just thought of it. He had regular hair, though,” I said.
“I don’t know if I want to hear about this,” Mr. Husband said.
“It was actually kind of cool. Unsanitary, but cool.”
Mr. Husband flinched again.
“Maybe there’s a planet where you can give someone a blow job while you’re kissing them,” I said.
“Maybe you should stop eating so much kettle corn before you go to bed,” Mr. Husband said.
That’s weird. I saw this plate from ancient Rome–some people were linking to it–of a man whose entire face was made of penises. Is it some kind of collective unconscious? Is this why you had the dream.
Mr. H. is cute. But what’s kettle corn?
you cheer me greatly. I imagine the whole-body erection would make all the little penises stick up like the spines on a prickly blowfish.
It would certainly make a first-rate Halloween costume, regardless!
Miel: Kettle corn is EXTREMELY delightful. It is popcorn popped with sugar and salt, so it is sweet and salty. A+ PMS food. I recommend it.
Badgerbag: You have it–he was totally a blowfish.
I love this picture…such wonderful things happen when you enter “penis+head” in Google images.
Someone e-mailed me a Halloween picture of a guy dressed in a pink-ish outfit that was covered with penises (penii?). There were, like, 50 of them. And on his chin were two huge balls, and his head tapered off into one giant dickhead. I’m not even joking. I’d link to it, but I’m too lazy to upload it. So, sorry for that.
Okay here’s a dream I had in college and Sean still brings it up:
I was at a formal dinner table and there was this giant tray of food being passed around and a big tureen of marinara sauce. The tray got to me and it was a heaping pile of penises with balls attached and some tongs to pick them up. They were not cooked (looking – I mean they were all pink – and caucasian?!?) and they were not bloody. In this dream it was completely normal to me and I took a couple and put them on my plate then covered them in marinara sauce.
THANKFULLY I woke up before I ate any.
I’m having some Vancouver bloggers over Saturday night – join us!
Also – THANKS for the Daymented title on your page!! How did I deserve that??
And P.S. Elliot Smith committed suicide. See the news.
you folks are gonna give me h.r. giger-style nightmares tonite! :O
yeah. poor elliott. i made a little tribute over at my blog if you would like to see…