Today was absolutely the most ordinary day possible! I leapt out of bed and mounted my Pegasus, Horatio. WAIT THAT DID NOT HAPPEN AT ALL, NOT EVEN A LITTLE.

BLUE STEEL

I somehow slept ten hours, but it was the absolute WORST. I was dreaming that I was on a soggy mattress, and no, I did not vagina-wet myself, it was just like two inches thick and all discolored from body oils and no sheet on, but I had the most coolest headboard that I want to build now that was like someone punched a metal shark in the mouth with a hockey stick.

I think I can make it happen, I’m up on my shots. Seriously, how hard can it be to build a headboard out of scrap metal and some crap I found?

I kept thinking to myself, I should go get the nice mattress from the other room, which was the mattress I was actually sleeping on while I was having the dream. I woke up and my headboard was gone! I noticed the other day that the wall next to my bed is turning slightly pink, as walls do. Birds and walls long to be near me. I thought, if I had a headboard it would cockblock my pillow from making the fuck with my walls, which is causing the pink creepage (PAAHGE, that’s French ok).

What can it mean? Why was I sleeping on a circus hobo mattress? I lay in bed a long time thinking about this, reading Mrs. Woolf and the Servants.

Oh hello, I did not see you there. I felt like writing every day for a week, so I did. I am thinking about continuing. Is this okay? Would you like to see inside my messy head EVERY DAY? I’m not going to get better or anything, either, you have my guaranDAMNtee. You don’t have to read everything. I will continue to write longer entries too, no doubt. I feel like I need to keep track of things more closely right now. THANK YOU COME AGAIN.