YAY! A reply from the first library I applied to!!!
Hello Mr. Asshole,
Doh! Well, okay, I do have the sexually ambiguous first name. And I am glad that my cover letter didn’t smack of girlie. Whatever that means. I am confusing myself. All I’m saying is, I did not print my CV on Hello Kitty letterhead, though it was HELLO-tempting.
On behalf of Foo-foo LaRue, Interim Associate University Librarian, this email is to acknowledge receipt of your application materials for the position of Resource Specialist Librarian. We appreciate your interest and will give your candidacy every consideration.
WOOO! MIAMI!!! LOL!!!111
State of Confusion University’s Academic Professional search procedures are thorough…
Uh-oh. Now I must thoroughly distribute brand new Abraham Lincolns to everyone on my reference list.
…and do take some time to complete. We will attempt to keep you informed of our progress as we go through the various review processes.
Yes, I know–sometimes the covered-wagon mail truck doesn’t get through. I hate this blither blather.
We are requesting that you complete voluntary Applicant Data Sheet located at: http://chittychittybangbang.edu and email it to me TorrenceMcCracken@scu.edu as an attachment. This information allows the University to meet its obligations for applicant tracking under Federal regulations.
I left this out the first time, because I am one of those “Race is a social construct” jerkasses. You must send us this voluntary form. Mmm-kay. As my friend pointed out, it would probably be okay to not fill out any of it and send it back. But I prefer to bend over. In my reply I told them that I would be DELIGHTED to provide them with ANY OTHER information they need, up to and including erotic dreams I have had about Michael J. Fox.
Again, thank you for your interest in the State of Confusion U. Library, and we look
forward to getting your Data Sheet soon.
Damn it! I am the bitch of the application progress. I wonder if anyone there has cars that want washing?
Update! 4:15 PM
Fuck this…my concentration has gone the way of Victorian Uterine Theories. No more job applications. I am just sitting here with the Sunday DTs. THE BUGS! THE BUGSTHEBUGSTHEBUGS!
Man, I hate being on the supplicant side of the application business. I will hand over anything, tell them EVERYTHING, just to show that I’m a good little worker bee and oh so compliant! And then I hate myself.
whoa… Diletto-that’s kind of catchy, but sounds a little too much like stiletto to go in my hoohoo.
:)
Still, using vibrators to treat hysteria-perhaps they were onto something there. I imagine most Victorian women suffered from lack of orgasm in the worst way and I’ve certainly found that makes me feel a little…unbalanced?
Yes, I get quite hysterical if I haven’t gotten my hump on in a while.
Hoohoo! SNERK!