My dear friend S. is out-of-town for most of the summer, visiting an old BFF from high school who has found religion, and relatives on the East Coast. She is doing this at her own peril, as she is driving around with the three girlies, aged thirteen, seven, and five. I think she and Mr. S. need another spouse, because they are outnumbered. Run, S., run!
However, a pleasant side-effect of S.’s summer vacation angst is that I keep getting these cries for help postcards in the mail.
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For the first one, she is still sane.
Postmarked August 8, 2005
Hey Darlin’!
We saw the Statue of Liberty yesterday, although we couldn’t go inside. Not a big deal for me, as I’ve already done that, but Mr. S. and the kids were disappointed. Now we’re in CT, with crazy Mr. S.’s grandma. It sucks here; I’ll be happy to leave. It’s in BFE, only it’s really upscale and expensive BFE. Lame-O.
Loves, S.
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Cracks in the facade, or is she just quoting Trent Reznor? I predict the former.
Postmarked August 9, 2005
Hey Darlin’!
I’m in the town of ____, NY in the Catskill Mountains. We’re on our way to visit A. at the Dergah. I’m very nervous…he sounds completely manic on the phone. We’ll see…. I’m so tired of trying to drive around with the kids. V. is in the “are we there yet?” phase, and I will be lucky to survive this trip, AND we still have the long drive (NY to DC) to go! HELP ME I’M IN HELL!! I love you -S.
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Things get worse; S. hooks up with her friend A. S. decides to redecorate Heaven and loves exclamation points as much as I do.
Postmarked August 10, 2005
(No greeting)
An Except from a real conversation 8/8:
Me: “Wow. A lot of the Dergah is green. Somebody must really like green.”
A. “Green is the color of heaven.” (With a straight face!!!)
Me: “Um, well, I might have to change that.” (Not that I’d ever go, or even believe in it, but, you know….)
BUT- HEAVEN IS GREEN!!??? WTF?? How can ANYONE take a religion seriously when it tells you what color heaven is? [Brainwashing?] Loves, S.
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A final card…the shortest yet. It is possible that S. has abandoned her children at this point and fled to Canada with Mr. S.. Or maybe she’ll be back this week as promised. I have been collecting her mail and watering her plants, so if she’s not coming back I’m going over there to collect all the US Weeklys. Okay, S.?
Postmarked August 12, 2005
Hey Darlin’!
Do you remember my road trip with Linda Blair around the Olympic Peninsula? [I believe S. is referring to the trip in which her seven-year-old (then six) had fits all the way home from the beach.] Well, today was another one from NEW YORK to DC!! Maybe I’ll learn not to take the girls on road trips at some point…. Hope you’re well! See you soon! Love, S.