Fuck. Fuck this! Fuck you! I’m doing this anyway! You cannot stop me!
This is not a hack. I am just psyching myself up to write more. Maybe just for ten minutes today, though. Ok.
I have a flu bug and if you tapped me I would be hollow right now. I really hope I can go back to work tomorrow because I like eating and buying ugly clothes. But since I am here, I will write a little. FUCK YOU, anxiety and self-doubt.
I want to talk about something else but my brain is pretty one-track today. And a little white noise. I may end up deleting all of today when I am done.
This is a request and dedication to Krumpy, whose texts have been cheering lately, possibly not the intended effect: Don’t Smoke in Bed
Sorry you are under the weather. I feel fine, health wise, but I still want to run out of here screaming and never return. must be something in the water
Not useless at all. I am also trying to get my self doubt to fuck off so I can just be creative damnit!
I’ll tell your self doubt to fuck off if you tell mine. Strangers on a train style.
GRRRRL, you know I am feeling that song tonight! It gave me the <>. How can one *not* smoke in bed after that song, I wanna know? Oooh-wee, child, I ain’t had a cig in 13 years but I could go for one @ now!
Was that your intention ;) Instigator!
* shivers was supposed to be in those brackets
IF YOU WERE INTERESTED, I applied for that writing job thing I emailed you about, got no response. Put myself out there, world did not end. HM. IMAGINE THAT.
PS hope you feel better soon, the flu sucks.
*makes SJ chicken noodle soup* Feel better soon!
Also, FUCK YOU to your insecurities and self doubt. You’re one rocking hot mama, and your brain needs to STFU and let the awesome out.
Yeah, well, this is me doing Ye Olde Big DeLurk in this context (although I already semi-pre-delurked when I contacted you in KOL awhile back) because:
A) when I tell anyone (everyone) about your assposts I always start by saying “My friend SJ said…”, it’s sort of my equivalent of “This one time? At band camp?.
B) My head is also full of static, white noise, lint, self-sabotage and weltanschauung. Yet somehow I survive, and have been doing so consistently for many consecutive decades. I’m as shocked as anyone. Maybe shockeder.
C) Recent audiobook consumed (can’t say “read”) by me, Panorama City by Antoine Wilson, contains the memorable leitmotif aphorism: “Most problems can be solved by waiting”.
D) etc. ad infinitum. You may now return to your regularly scheduled blog.
Hello Yarndroid! And “welcome.”
Beware I live. Still a little wonky but no longer stomach buggy. Urgh.