That’s Auntie Monkeyass To You

“Suh. Suuuuh. Ucks. Ucks. Ucks.” Franny paused as she finished her cereal. “Ors. Ors. ORRRS! Mom!”

“Yep.”

“Sux0rs ends with ‘R!’ I figured it out!”

“Good job, honey! You don’t sux0r at all!” She smiled.

The other day she called my sister a monkeyass. I am so proud of that kid I could just cry sometimes.


In Other, Immature News

The last thing that happened before bed last night was a battle involving a nursing pad being repeatedly stuck to each other and each other’s reading materials. At some point, someone may have stuck the pad to the other person’s butt and exclaimed, “Aww lookit the cute little bunny!” I can’t confirm this, though, because I was pretty sleepy and may not have been acting like myself. There are lots of problems over here, but most of them are the good kind.

This made me think of the maxipad fights we used to get into in middle school at each other’s houses–peel off the sticker and start slamming them on your friends, or on the wall, or wherever. This also makes me think of all the times we played toilet paper bride, and of all the shampoo or whatever I would waste while playing “Mad Scientist.”

Yes, I did think money grew on goddamn trees. I’m sorry, Parents. I’m sorry, everyone who ever hosted me at a slumber party. Now I know.

Speaking of money growing on trees, today my companion’s bike was broken, and he was too tired to fix it. So I offered to give him a ride to work at Giant Local Software Company. I had to laugh…each company van they have to shuttle workers from building to building is plastered with ads for their console game. “What? It’s free advertsing,” said companion.

Oh, no, baby, don’t drink the Kool-Aid.

In Other, Whiter News

Strudel discovered where I keep my printer paper yesterday.

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I read the package, and it seems there is no whole wheat in it. So I had to put a stop to it. Because, frankly, I CARE what goes into my kids’ bodies.

After a week on the glass, my hand turkey got surly and decided to flip us off. Even my crafts are punkrock, yeah booyee.

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Also, it is snowing like a motherfucker. I am indoors eating satsumas and listening to Big Black. Wish you were here! XXOO

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The world is cold now!

35 thoughts on “That’s Auntie Monkeyass To You

  1. It’s a balmy 12 degrees here (wind chill of 0) back in your old midwestern stomping grounds.
    Last night it was so cold my neighbor’s rubbermaid garbage can shattered…

  2. You know, it occurs to me that I don’t actually know any Big Black songs besides the kerosene one.

    Does that make me a poseur?

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