Footie Assault!

This weekend ended up being relatively quiet, in the end. We had Bumbershoot tickets, but big lamers that we are, we did not go. Now I take a break where I imagine my eighteen-year-old self punching my twenty-eight-year-old self in the fucking face. Sorry, surly youth! I was tired.

DJ Assault was more than enough excitement for me on Saturday night. I decided that since I had some extra time, I would dress up as a hootchie. Because, come on, it’s DJ Assault.

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Figure 1: You better believe the other one reads “J.”

Companion hovered near me in the bathroom while I made myself “pretty” (Necessary Estimated Time: three hours).

Companion: What are you doing?
Me: This is called backcombing.
C: What does that do?
Me: It makes your hair stand up. See, now I comb the unratted hair over the top. POOFY!
C: Is that bad for your hair?
Me: Yup.
C: Now what are you doing?
Me: Curling my hair.
C: Is that bad for your….
Me: Just assume everything I’m doing tonight is bad for me.
C: Okay.

To paraphrase Supa, if it looks good, your hair probably got damaged in the process. It was hard to backcomb my hair without a cigarette hanging out of my mouth, but I managed.

Result: Crazed Anime Shi-Tzu Hoochie!

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“I know that bitch did-EN just call me a SHIT-SOO. Uh-Uh.”

Shi-Tzu, Me. You can’t tell the difference.

I rocked my gold fakeskin shoes, which have left cuts on my footies that are still sore. The price of being a GLAMMA QUEEN, I tells ya.

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I told Daniel that if he bought me enough drinks I would make out with some big booty girls in front of him.

“A double-WHATEVAH for the lady!” he replied, suavely. What a high roller that pimp is.

The rest of the weekend there was grumping and napping by everyone. On Sunday we went to a barbeque at Halo’s parents’ house. Halo changed her plans and will be here for the rest of the week, so MF squee! I haven’t seen her in five months, but due to the gloriousness of free cel phone long distance, we’ve been in touch. It doesn’t make up for seeing her, though. Her off-the-cuff observations, which I’m not used to hearing in person anymore, make me “HAW” several times.

And Gracious Houseguest made her way out of our gentle haven and into her own apartment. I can’t wait to see it!

And now we have no houseguests. This place feels too big for just us and Strudel now. Soon, assuming that they don’t end up in International Dumbass Limbo (IDL), Franny will be back on the fifteenth, all jet-lagged and ready to start first grade!

Now on a sign in a gas station in Wallingford:

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14 thoughts on “Footie Assault!

  1. Are those just shadows in your glorious pink ponytails, or do you actually have black in them? Because RAWK. How effin’ cool.

  2. oh my god, you look HAWT. i wish you lived close so we could, you know, get all girly and paint our toenails black together and shizzle. SIGH.

  3. You rock…
    Trash blonde was as far as I could go and I don’t know how much more I can take of the bleach.

    I used to be redhedcool….back in my goth days…late 80’s….

    Supposedly getting at tat in two weeks…will post….see if you approve!!

  4. Dizzayum! That is all.

    Also: that stingray made me sing

    STUCK IN THE HEART, AND ONLY HE’S TO BLAME
    CRIKEY! HE GAVE AUSSIES A BAYAAAAAAD NAME

  5. Hee hee, thanks nice people.

    As for close-ups, no I don’t think so. I think there used to be, but they fell off into an old server.

  6. and, you could get loverly comments like this:

    Kai-La-Sha Tough Cookie II is a 3 year old , 10 1/2 inches tall, well built bitch. She has a wonderful hard, dense coat, and a perfect head and bite. Cookie has a lovely character as well. She loves all people, but especially babies, canine and human.

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