Strudel may or may not have just eaten a nickel. Part of me is a little proud. It’s only a matter of time before we move onto cue balls and goldfish! There are pageant moms and stage moms. I think I’m going to be a sideshow mom. “ONE MORE SWORD, HONEY! YOU CAN DO IT!” Thank heavens, the older one was turning out so normal.
It’s another SNOW DAAAAY, bitches. (Weep.) We are decorating the Xmas ficus today. I haven’t been able to track down a good picture of Beyonce lately to use as our snow angel, so Franny and I will have to flip through People until we find someone else we like. Pictures later, unless I bust into the cough syrup. J/K, J/K. I save it for forcing the kids to nap.
We will not be using Crotchshot Britney (TM). What happened, Britney? You were cute for five minutes again. Now you’re making Paris look classy. That sounds like a yo momma insult, doesn’t it? Yo momma so trashy she make Paris Hilton look classy. Say, there’s an idea for my tree topper….
Spears, you’re dead to me. Again.
(Thanks for the Britney link, concerned librarian friends.)
Oh, I so totally looked at the Britney link. And now I am sorry.
If I had as much money as Britney does, I would make damn sure someone was paid to keep my beaver looking tip-top. Botox, nip, tuck, acid peel.. whatever it takes.
I plan to hire a “genital concealment specialist” who will follow me around and strategically shield my nether bits with a piece of cardboard. Double-corrugated crush test 180 lb. shall protect my dignity from the prying eyes of the papara..arazi, papporazza, dudes with cameras.
So…does that mean K-Fed will be dropping trow (trou?) one of these days ofr the inevitable one-up? Ew.
Whoops, I did it again. And, holy shit, is that a cesarean scar? Frankly, I have to give her props: for a mother of two, her junk looks pretty good. But: the fact that I know that about her junk is disturbing me.
Thanks for bringing this important pubic – er, I mean, public – announcement to your readers.
Holy. Crap.
Why is it that celebrities have such a hard time wearing underwear? It’s not that difficult, and it keeps you from these embarassing slip-ups.