Hey, sorry I’ve been so busy. I staged my own death on my LJ and then wrote glowing remembrances of myself under other user names on the various fora dedicated to how awesome I am (was). And then I came back to life and was humiliated. I think it’s still all up on fandomwank. Anyhwey, these things take lots of time.

But sureusly, I have been sucked down the slightly-clogged drain that is my big kid’s school auction. These things are a major fiasco and are responsible for most of the school’s budget. The event planner just bounced, leaving us without a set menu, and I am busy entering items into the software’s database, which is like a slightly dressed up version of Access. Imagine a mangy poodle with two legs wearing a brand-new feather boa. That just got dropped into a puddle.

Hmm. Methinks I need to practice my metaphors more often. I don’t want to veer off into Gaimanport.

Last year I just wrote the copy. This year I am handling all computery operations, which has scored me a table next to the auctioneer and free meal. It’s food by Blortgang Puck, but hey, it’s free, AMIRITE? Anyway, I am rootling through items, some of which are so cool they are making my teeth hurt, and others that look like they made their way from the back of someone’s closet, where they have resided for the past five-plus years. I understand that not everyone’s rolling in the dope money cash G, but please don’t send a booby prize. If what you have for behind door number three is a software program featuring nine-year old maps and only runs on two operating systems ago, then you may want to take off your goggles and see that for the donkey it is.

Did anyone ever keep the donkeys they won on Let’s Make a Deal? Or was that just the same donkey over and over? Because when I was four, frankly, I wanted that hay-chomping motherfucker.

My fella’s working it with me, night of, and that should be fun, too. There’s nothing like a hot night of joint data entry to keep the home fires burning. J/K, that’s what buttseks is for.