So I am typing this love letter to you from MS Works, which Hester Prynne very devilishly shipped with. MS Works is kind of a Zen riddle, because it seems no one uses it…and yet M$ continues to make and ship computers with it…I will have to meditate on that one. Oh ho, Hester, I see that I have to take the good with the bad with you. I was sad to have to let Heteronymous go, though. There’s not much work for computer hamsters these days. I will miss the sound of his little wheel squeaking as I attempted to do something complex with Tyrone, like search for a file.

My sister Morgan is staying with us for a week, because she’s in that dreaded hole that college students get themselves into. Her lease end dates and start dates don’t quite match up, so she was in limbo. And when you’re a student, it’s not like you can afford to pay two rents for a month.

When she first came this weekend, she was frantically trying to finish up an oil painting for a class. It’s a “restoration” of one of those Greek sculptures with the creepy dead eyes. Did you know that all that old Greek crap used to be painted up like a hoor who will except cash, checks, or cheeseburgers?

The teacher said it was the best student example of a restoration she’d ever seen and kept it to make it into a slide for the university’s slide library.

I thought it was funny that Morgan chose to paint a picture for her art history class, considering that she’s an art history major. “I don’t have time to write a thirty page paper!” she said. Fair enough, who does, really?

Since I am thinking of her so much lately, I will tell you two more stories about my sister.

Story #1: LUSH Run

About a year ago, Morgan and I drove to Bellevue to stock up on the holy goodness that is LUSH products. She decided to try out some new shampoo. Morgan has some of the most body-tastic hair I’ve ever seen. Nowadays, she generally keeps it cut shorter and thinned and does Secret Lady Things to it and it looks great. So I was pretty surprised when she picked out “Big” shampoo.

We were in the car on the way home and Morgan pulled out her booty to admire it all. “Big shampoo,” she said, sniffing it. “HAAY! Does this make your HAIR big?”

“Yeah, I think it’s supposed to add body,” I said.

“DAAMMIT!” she said.

“Big shampoo…I know, who would have thought?” I said.

“Shut up,” she said.

Story #2: I Know, RITE?

A couple of weeks ago we went out to dinner to catch up on things. Morgan went on a tear about a sucky teacher who wouldn’t provide a syllabus or reading assignments for the required books.

“What does she say when you ask her what you should be reading?” I asked.

“Oh, she just tells us to do the readings around what we’re talking about,” she said.

“Hmm,” I said.

“I mean, what is her problem?” Morgan said. “Who wants to read the whole fricking book?”

“People who want to…learn something?” I said, gently.

“WhatEVER!” said Morgan, and stabbed her noodles with her chopsticks.

She’s a blast. I’m glad she’s here.

In Other News: Les Printemps, C’est Moi

Today I had my first Cadbury creme egg. A reputable Ozlander once told me that they are available on the other side of the Earth all year round. But the drawback is that you’re on the underside of the world, so your face is all red from being upside down all the time. So you can shove fresh Creme eggs into your red face in December! I are jellus.

But here, creme eggs means spring. Or nausea. I know lots of people hate them. More for nourishing my giant librarian can with, then.

1. Speaking of cheeseburgers, Broad sent me this link to this awesomeness: I Can Has Cheeseburger? I flipped through the archives and was delighted to see that Rich from Fourfour put his cheeseburger cats up there with the captions they deserved in the first place.

2. If you are struggling with the terrah that is Vista like me, then you will appreciate this great story. I wish I would have thought of this first!

3. Finally, it is important to mention that those Worth 1000 freaks are now crossing three animals.