Sunday was a beautiful sunny day. The wife and I decided to play bocce in the park near our house. I was measuring and taking score, and wife was looking for a ball had “gotten away from her.” I noticed a small object in the air, near head height. Just as I was thinking: “what is that? That seems out of place.” WHAM!
It was a rock. Nailed me in the noggin, and dropped me like a stone. I sat up rubbing my forehead. I hear small squeaky giggling behind me. I feel two tiny hands deftly and unceremoniously grab my ears. POW! I start seeing stars again as a tiny knee, POW! Keeps drilling, POW! Me in the POW! base of the skull.
“I’m Doin’ it Mama! LOOK!” POW! More stars.
“You sure are baby!….Yer never gonna get it like that. Franny, you’ve got him by the ears.”
“Well this jerk’s got no hair.” POW! Extra vigor on that one, that really hurt.
I look up and through the stars I see bright pink hair…Pink hair…Franny….
“S.J.?” POW!
I get a sideways look, and a frown.
“S.J. It’s J.B.”
“Aww hell. Let him be Franny he’s got no money. You should hear about the piece of shit truck he drives.” The tiny hands are reluctant, but they let go of my ears. The stars clear. S.J. reaches down with one hand and hefts me to my feet by the scruff of my shirt. She’s at least 6’2″. She smiles and claps me on the back so hard it nearly sends me back to the ground.
“Franny didn’t hurt you much did she?” I shake my head rather uncertainly.
“You gotta start em young if you want to really train em up right.” She turns her head, and cups her hands over her mouth. “P!!!!” Her voice carries like rolling thunder. I see ‘companion’ across the park. He heads over with Strudel in his arms. We’re all introduced around. I introduce the wife, and shake little Franny’s hand. Strudel is cuter than a bug in person, but much biteier than you’d expect.
After a short conversation S.J. announces “Well, it was nice chatting with you two, but we’ve got more work to do. Isn’t that right Franny?” Little Franny picks up a rock and nods. “Besides, it’s gettin late and momma needs some love!”
It’s interesting that in this tale, Franny is the thug and the Naked Dwarf/Elf is only a bit bitey. Not that I don’t think Franny is probably capable of throwing hands if the occasion calls for it, but I can’t quite imagine her jumping random passerby in the park. On the other hand, I have no trouble imagining the N D/E doing so.
It took me awhile to catch on that you and JB were blog-swinging. FUN.
JBs comment on Strudel’s bitey-ness reminded me of the baby in Lemony Snicket’s books. Which i enjoyed reading until I saw pic of the author. crreeeeepy! He has a look in his eye just like whatshisname the musician who is being charged with pedophilia. Gary Glitter? Someone Spektor?