Gardening with Our Dark Lord

Yes, it’s that time again.


This weekend we were busy beaver gardeners. We are trying to establish some more perennials in the front beds. There is a trellis over the front windows that supports a deciduous clematis that blooms for a month, and the rest of the time creates a bone-dry shady bed situation underneath. This is not so fun.

We also took over the other side of the yard. Last year at this time we were still adjusting to being moved and and whatnot, and then my neighbor’s mother and mother-in-law came to visit, and planted and unplanted things, seemingly at random. So we checked in with my neighbor and asked it we could plant her little porch box and pots, and she said to go for it. We have been racing to do this, because the word is that the mother-in-law’s coming back for her grandson’s first birthday. For a month. And she will be bored. DUN DUN DUN. I’m going medieval if she pulls anything up, is all I have to say.

I feel so sorry for my neighbor sometimes. Her mother-in-law, from thousands of miles away in Asia, is the boss of her. She told my neighbor she couldn’t travel with her boy, to see her mom, which is bullcrap, because it is a bad time to fly with him. So the MiL’s coming here, because my neighbor will “be all alone” during the birthday. And why will she be all alone? Because she is not allowed to travel. Nice.

I recently discovered, after knowing her for months, that she’s in a marriage that was arranged. That really blew my mind a little. We thought maybe we could socialize with them, but her husband isn’t very friendly. He laughed at Companion recently when he was out back cutting down branches from a completely overgrown laurel, I think because he thinks it’s weird for renters to be doing yard work. But now we have a ton more sunlight, so I will be laughing as I make myself sick on tomatoes this summer.

Whippet was over yesterday and I was showing her all the plants that we put in this weekend. We were having one of our wine therapy sessions, which keeps us from abandoning our families. I was moving from shadow to shadow like I always do, so I don’t get burned.

“You have to get some sun, you know!” Whippet said, waving her glass at me.

“No, I don’t,” I said.

“Yes! You need some vitamin D. You can’t be a totally white goth. You’ll get MS!”

“I’ll just take pills,” I said.

In Other News


On Sunday I made a spankypita for the first time. It turned out pretty well. It called for dill, but I think what I was missing was mint. Anyone have a good recipe with mint?




3 thoughts on “Gardening with Our Dark Lord

  1. You can’t be tempting me with food pron today. I’m starving. I almost started chewing on my monitor.

  2. I thought the “before” picture was a wad of paper towels from cleaning up a lot of spilled pineapple juice, and I was a little alarmed at the lack of kitchen hygiene, or at least the lack of shame about it.

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