In Which I Abuse Those Who Are Closest To Me

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Ah, me. X-mas is truly upon us. How do I know? Today I experienced the ultimate pleasure known as the Annual X-mas Fight with Mr. Husband.

“My grandma called today,” Mr. Husband said nonchalantly. This is the woman who still calls Japanese persons “Japs” and has told me I’d be “much prettier if I only could lose ten pounds and if I’d take all that stuff out of my face,” referring to my piercings.

“Ah-hah,” I said.

“She’s emailing a recipe for potatoes that we’re supposed to make for Christmas dinner,” he said, his voice getting that note of tension that would be hidden from other people but is easy for me to distinguish after all the mess we

8 thoughts on “In Which I Abuse Those Who Are Closest To Me”

  1. Do they ever “forget” that my mother-in-law dislikes lamb, and accidentally make that instead? No, they do not! The rest of us would enjoy lamb.

    I’M NOT BITTER!

  2. They may be the only “legitimate” food that tastes the same both ways. However! There’s a whole class of frozen and “pre-prepared” foods that do exactly the same thing:

    – SpegOs with meatballs. (I cannot vouch for SpegOs without the meatballs, because those are just foul.)
    – Ellios Frozen Pizza
    – Doritos with melted Cheddar and Ortega taco sauce.
    – Wolfgang Puck’s whole line of frozen dinners.

    I expect there are a host of others.

    How do I know this? I’m a bachelor, and I’ve been sick.

    (oh, btw: got the link from http://www.both2and.com/weblog/)

    – MWF

  3. run with the red wine and canvas thingie. i’m running with new york and san fran next year, and that’s a long way from Melbourne, Australia. And a long way from my family, which is kinda the point, really.

  4. Um…I like scalloped potatoes…OK, never mind.

    Anyway–Bisbee! Wow…I love Bisbee! Are you really not allowed to go to Bisbee? Maybe just for one Christmas?

    In-laws suck.

  5. i just want to be alone, too. i hear ya. it’s torture. a whole day of sitting around remembering why you don’t visit these people more often.

  6. hey you are hilarious! the only way i can possibly survive the holidays is remembering 2 simple things: it will never be like on TV and it only lasts for a few weeks…oh then of course comes the ninety days of gloom, but..hey…the upshot is….Spring is only 4 months away!

  7. Personally my gag food was string beans. No one is allowed to even bring them into my home now.

    And I’m impressed you used the word “groady” in a sentence. Haven’e heard that word since 85. Like, totally.

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