Homicidal Rage Part 1: Hester Prynne is menacing me with Extended Service Plans, like, every five minutes. Even though she is unpluggers from the interknutes still. Okay, people who make these programs: how’s about you make one little extra application thingie that notices when no internets is extant.
Extended service plan? Sure. Let me just plug you into…this potato I found. FECK OFF.
I got clever and went into the the Task Massager and found out where the little notification thangie was. I went to the file, and it told me I did not have the authority to delete it. I tried to change the files permissions and it said I did not have the authority to do that.
So…Friday night…Westlake Center…we are burning all of Hewlett Packard in effigy. And when Hester Prynne dies, this is it. No more computers. I will get a buxom assistant who can take dictation after this, for reals.
Homicidal Rage #2: I cannot figure out how to remove my cell borders in MF Works. Homicidal Rage 2.5 is that I am still using Works.
Problems with no internet. Problems with programs. If only I knew someone who was good with computers…hmm, let me think. Maybe someone with BLUE HAIR, who perhaps works with computers for a living. Yeah, that would be ideal.
Aaaand….scene. Aunt Flo is arriving on Thursday. Until then I am going to walk around with my eyes bugging out of my head. I have to assume that the extra blood flow is good for my arteries, amirite?
A one-off for a TBA side project.
Also, today Franny told me that my mother told Franny’s stepmother that she saw me coming out of a tanning salon and her stepmother had a major wtf moment. I’m sure my mom did too, if she felt the need to pass this on to That Poor Woman. No one knows me; I’m still a mystery to them. I think Seattle is designed in a special way so that you run into people when you least want to.
I also think I live for giving people wtf moments. Someday I am going to move to a new town and live as a middle aged man named Herbert Shaughnessy, and then a year later I am going to go into my workplace and rip my top and fake mustache off, and be all, “SURPRIZE! BUTTSECKS!” because at that point I’ll be fired anyway, but it’ll be worth it to see the wtf on their faces before security shows up.
Other than that I went to Seattle Center today and gawped at the tourists. The monorail clerk let me on for free when she found out I had no cash. A guy gave us a radio that smelled like Old Spice. The end!
Mmm Oldspice! lol Sometimes I HATE computers too…
my god. you are using all things microserf. of course you have learned to hate computers. i have happily been tiptyping away on my macintosh since 1992.
Me too old and dumb to learn new magic.
Ummm… Tully’s and Open Office. I saw you like two night ago I can’t believe you still need so much duh. What the hell you use all that cute for?!
Dude, they should so PAY you for that. If I was in charge of everything, you would be Commander in Chief of my Special Top Secret WTF Forces and travel the nation spreading jaw-dropping mayhem and awe.
My cute is hidden under a bushel. My wtf is in full effect, however.
That is a big ole batch of funny.
I second daniel’s open office, but I’m not much for the Tully’s.. cafe Ladro on the other hand I am for mostly because it has the tastyiest pie.
I don’t have any WTF, but I have lots of “huh?” so I’m saving up for a still to cook it down.
Then there’s Chocolati, conveniently located at Greenlake, on Phinney Ridge, and in Wallingford. Any place where they’ve got 47 kinds of hot cocoa has got to be good. The one in Wallingford is in an old bookstore. Very swanky.
Wait, why are we talking about coffee shops?
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in yer table.
SJ wrote: “Wait, why are we talking about coffee shops?” It’s Daniel’s fault.
I love this. Everyone’s trying to solve my problems. Me just want to bitch. But…I will use your help anyway. Mwahaha!
Got tired of lurkin around here plus i gotta tell you that i Chuckled and even Chortled so much reading this – while holding a dymatapped :o] Out Pop-pops
…The Laughter woke him and he let out a short chortle while sleeping. Is that too fucking cute or what??!!?
Also, i love it that your unicorn boycotts starbucks.
She’s on to us.. RUN!
PNW’d needs its own blog.
My confession: I don’t always get PNWD. Also, how do you pronounce PNWD? Powned? Pawned?
But nevertheless, this one is brilliant.
ozma, I think it’s pronounced “Pea-In-Double-Ewe-ed”
It is Pee-En-Double-You-ed, just like the letters.
I have thought about giving it its own website, but then I’d feel obligated to update it and stuff. Lerf.
That was nice. Thank you for sharing this one.