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Category Archives: PNW’ed
Keith Knight Talkin About Stuff at 826
I got him to draw a picture of a guy holding a loot bag as inspiration for Xmas Steve, mwahaha.
This is not a commentary on the talk.
Soy Mocha, Not Too Sweet
FUCK YES CAPS LOCK IS ENGAGED
OH HEY GUESS WHAT’s going on in this thread? Strudel has been rendered half deaf and insensible by her cold, so now she shouts constantly. It’s like living with someone’s tiny grammy, except tiny grammy runs in circles and sings Dr. Horrible and shouts FOR THE WIN. You wish your Grammy was so…SIX MONTHS BEHIND. Gert!
The work flap with me getting called a swear has blown over nicely, which is what I was praying for. Some people cannot be thrown down with. I did have a moment yesterday of lip biting when it was announced that OH the closets have been cleaned out and don’t they look great? And I thought that was kind of odd that credit was being taken for something I did just two days earlier. Did you seriously not notice I cleaned? Because I pwn the tacos out of cleaning.
It doesn’t matter, though, because I have a presentation today. It is the very best kind of presentation, because no one but me knows that I have one. It will be a surprise presentation. Not as good as the other kind of surprise.
What am I presenting? ROBOT CLAW HAND. It will revolutionize the way business is done. The outcome will be awesome either way. One, you and your new robot claw hand are accepted, or two, you are trespassed by security. I like both options, as long as someone is there to video it and put it on YouTube.
Oh BAYBEE I Like It RAAW
Here lies an asshole too impatient for Post Secret!
Like twice a year I update my MP3 player in a major way, scraping off the stuff I never listen to or am sick of, and add new stuff that is hella dope. Here is my soundtrack for the next few days:
K-Os “Atlantis: Hymns for Disco”
Jaylib (still)
ODB “Return to the 36 Chambers”
MC Chris
New Atmosphere
Mos Def, I am still loving on “True Magic” because I lost it for a few months
Eric Dolphy “Out to Lunch”
Life is good.
Additionally, here is the photo essay part:
GET IT? IT’S A DJ ASSAULT JOKE AGAIN. I don’t have to explain that to you, you clever haberdashers.
This is the fotie that I pour out for my homie Shauna who cannot make it this year. FNIF. In your honor I wear a ghetto pin that I made myself. Underneath is a Happy Bunny pin that says “Kiss me in the pooper.” I think this is appropriate, somehow.
Calliope has discovered there are Interesting Kitchen Doings. I am trying to get her to come in and say something clever a la PeeWee’s Playhouse and I keep getting shouted at since there are steep stairs below. “SHE’S GOING TO BREAK A DRUM.” Oh ffs, that’s what the wings are for. Flappin.
Uncle $crooge Comeerks
PNW’ed 34
Also Toe Jam.
PNW’ed 33: The Passion of the Asshole
PNW’ed 32: We Care A Lot
How Will I Go On Without My Gaius?
“Adulthood is loneliness, emptiness, and panic. Surprise! Welcome to the party. Make yourself a drink. Sit anywhere.”
–Christopher Frizelle
I have exhausted all of my episodes of Battlestar Agalag. What am I going to do with the rest of my life now? I guess I have to go outside or something now. BOOO!
I am turning thirty this month, did I tell you? I was feeling all excited about that, pretty much since last year’s birthday. Now I kind of wish I could put it off for another month, since I have so much anxiety right now. I sort of feel like I am overreacting to things. Like I just got sucked back into a few years ago when things were much worse. It’s funny how triggers can set you off. What do you do about that? I think the difference between then and now was that I thought things were going to get better, and I could move away from the bullshit for once and all. But of course it resurfaces. I know that now. How did I get this old without knowing that?
So right now I am feeling like a barely-competent friend, fake wife, and person. I think the momming may still be hanging in there. I have only thrown Strudel in the locks three times this week, which is about average.
I got my first paycheck for writing the other day. I was talking to a friend about that and how I thought I would have sold a pile of work by now. But I am happy to have made a start.
Things I am obsessing over lately:
Now With 23% More Bulging Neck Veins
Homicidal Rage Part 1: Hester Prynne is menacing me with Extended Service Plans, like, every five minutes. Even though she is unpluggers from the interknutes still. Okay, people who make these programs: how’s about you make one little extra application thingie that notices when no internets is extant.
Extended service plan? Sure. Let me just plug you into…this potato I found. FECK OFF.
I got clever and went into the the Task Massager and found out where the little notification thangie was. I went to the file, and it told me I did not have the authority to delete it. I tried to change the files permissions and it said I did not have the authority to do that.
So…Friday night…Westlake Center…we are burning all of Hewlett Packard in effigy. And when Hester Prynne dies, this is it. No more computers. I will get a buxom assistant who can take dictation after this, for reals.
Homicidal Rage #2: I cannot figure out how to remove my cell borders in MF Works. Homicidal Rage 2.5 is that I am still using Works.
Problems with no internet. Problems with programs. If only I knew someone who was good with computers…hmm, let me think. Maybe someone with BLUE HAIR, who perhaps works with computers for a living. Yeah, that would be ideal.
Aaaand….scene. Aunt Flo is arriving on Thursday. Until then I am going to walk around with my eyes bugging out of my head. I have to assume that the extra blood flow is good for my arteries, amirite?
A one-off for a TBA side project.
Also, today Franny told me that my mother told Franny’s stepmother that she saw me coming out of a tanning salon and her stepmother had a major wtf moment. I’m sure my mom did too, if she felt the need to pass this on to That Poor Woman. No one knows me; I’m still a mystery to them. I think Seattle is designed in a special way so that you run into people when you least want to.
I also think I live for giving people wtf moments. Someday I am going to move to a new town and live as a middle aged man named Herbert Shaughnessy, and then a year later I am going to go into my workplace and rip my top and fake mustache off, and be all, “SURPRIZE! BUTTSECKS!” because at that point I’ll be fired anyway, but it’ll be worth it to see the wtf on their faces before security shows up.
Other than that I went to Seattle Center today and gawped at the tourists. The monorail clerk let me on for free when she found out I had no cash. A guy gave us a radio that smelled like Old Spice. The end!