The child screamed for most of the morning. She was infuriated about something to do with her horsie tights. I wasn’t following it; it was complicated. She was left to scream in her room. Eventually she went to school.

But first she climbed into bed with us.

“Aww, were you scared? Want to be snuggled?” She nodded. I am so trusting.

We laid there for a few minutes.

“Mom!” My breasts were punched, evil, criminal things that they are. “You are in my part.”

“What? What part?”

“My part! You are in my PART!” Her hand shot out like a traffic cop: STOP. You are on my part. My part of the bed. My part of life. Quit breathing, I require that air.

I got up.

“What are you doing?” she said.

“I am getting out of your part.”

SHEESH. At least the other one only demanded sugar in her sleep.

After she was gone, there was a band saw, somewhere. Companion piled every blanket on me and even pulled the coats out of the closet. I still felt weird. My fella went upstairs to lay in bed.

Then it was “HOW COULD YOU, LUCY?” (Note: I am not Lucy.)

“Companion, do you hear someone being betrayed?” I called up the stairs. Maybe I was imagining this.

“Yep.”

“Who is it?”

“Who do you think?”

It was my neighbor, Drama King, who stands out on his patio having looooong winding conversations with his girlfriend which no one can win, including him. If someone talked to me the way he talks to her for THREE HOURS I would fucking shoot myself. They sound something like this:

Him: So do you see how you put me in a position here?

Her: Hmm.

Him: I mean, what I am trying to explain to you is, this is just like two weeks ago when the problem came up with your brother, right?

Her: Oh, I….

Him: All I’m saying is, I do everything for you. And to have you put me in a position like this, it’s just not right.

How could you do this to me, Lucy? Keep doing it, Lucy! RUN, LUCY!