Domestic Ninja Vanish!

Eight a.m.? Time to Be Confrontational.

Me: Are you going to start doing the dishes after dinner again, or what?

C: Hmm? Yeah, that’s lame. I won’t do that anymore.

Me: What? The dishes are lame and you’re done with them?

C: Nooooo….

Me: Well, if that’s the case, I will enjoy eating Thai food every night.

C: …AND I will enjoy having you make it every night.

Dammit. Ninja pwt!
Me: 0
C: 1

I Guess I Haven’t Posted About PMS in Oh, a Month or So.

Me, getting out of the shower: Look at me. Loooooook at me. LOOK. Do I look different to you?

C: Er….

Me, squeezing fatty parts: NO, SERIOUSLY. Do I look different?

C: Okay. Well, I can remember a time…when you looked…heavier?

Me: Hmm.


Well, bonus points to my fella for style.

ADDITIONALLY, please show me your opinions on etiquette.

Scenario: I invited the neighbors to a little holiday open house thingummy we want to throw. They accepted, which went like this.

Them: Oh, we’d love to drop by. But we have guests in from out-of-town this weekend. So we’ll just bring them!

Me: Uhh…okay?

Question: What is a better response than “Duuuh okay”? After I went into the house, I thought I could have said something like, “Well, we would like to invite people we know.” Is that too much? Of course, I won’t know some of my guest’s dates, but that’s different. These neighbors are coupled up already and so will be bringing bonus mystery people. Please advise for the future.

Actually, forget it. I am not throwing parties anymore. Goodbye, cruel social world, hello cruel nunnery.

In my dealings with people under fifty I am starting to think that all the time I spent devouring etiquette books while babysitting was not time well spent, but instead the makings of an insufferable GIT.

Also, I very much enjoyed this post by a professor friend.

7 thoughts on “Domestic Ninja Vanish!

  1. I feel your pain. For example, my parents don’t have alcohol at their home, and my dad’s sister thinks this means she gets to bring her own to family events. Uh, no. It means you respect the hosts and their recovery. Assholes.

  2. Miss Manners would probably say you should have said, “Oh, well, if you have guests you probably prefer to stay home and visit them, then.” Your response about “people we know” also works. But you know, if people are this rude and clueless, then anything short of “Stay home with your stinking houseguests, assholes,” probably just passes right over their heads. You know that if you put yourself out at all to cater for them, they won’t even turn up, right?

    Oh, and thanks for the plug. See, I can has mannurs!

  3. I was going to say something like WhatLadder did, but wasnt fast enough. But I do agree. Have fun anyway being a nun.

  4. They skipped a step in the dance.

    Unadorned, “We have company from out-of-town” means “We can’t come.”

    What they *should* have said was, “Oh, that sounds lovely! But we have company from out of town, and we wouldn’t want to put you to the inconvenience of entertaining them.”

    Then you have the choice of saying, “Some other time, then” or “Nonsense! Bring them along.”

    But who am I to talk? I can barely manage to grunt an invitation into the phone these days.

  5. for the party set-up;
    a card table near the front door with a selection of books and tapes for purchase,
    an easel placed in the living room with circles and pyramids pre-drawn,
    mention multi-level marketing and the american dream,
    say things like, “Gee…I sure hope your friends brought their checkbooks, we sure are anxious to move our plan into other markets !”
    They won’t stay long

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