Hey DABs. As long-time readers may remember, when I was a broke-ass grad student and a slatternly single mother, my elder jerk expressed a desire to have some kind of Xmas thing at my house. I thought this was interesting, because traditionally before that I had ZERO xmas decor, choosing instead to mooch xmas cheer off of other places, like parties and Nordstrom. But NO. Xmas ’03 was it. That was the genesis of the XMAS FICUS! I have no pictures of Xmas ’03, which is not to surprising as I had just moved and that was a suck ass Xmas anyhow. But.

Here’s Xmas ’05:

And here we have Gwen Steponme for 2006.

This year we decided to do something different. In October I got back into the free online game the Kingdom of Loathing, and every year they have a Xmas celebration called “Crimbo.” This year the Crimbo elves have been assimilated by cyborgs, and part of the game is fighting twisted characters inspired by the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

So we are making ornaments every night to celebrate Crimbo. At the top of our tree this year serving as a star is “The Sinister Dodecahedron.”

In game, the images are tiny gifs and blow up very poorly into pixelly messes. Yesterday I hand-copied the first five images as best I could on a full-sized sheet of paper, scanned them, and made them ornament size with Photoshop. We had fun coloring the results, and now they hang on our tree with dental floss. Elegant! They are living here in my botofuckit account. I can’t imagine anyone else would want these, but help yourself if you like.

FOUR Killing Birds!

THREE Swiss (Army Knife) Hens!

TWO turtle mecs!

And a Death Ray in a Pear Tree!

I can’t wait to see what the other days bring. Today is a gold ring…a killer one, of course. This morning Strudel asked me, “Where’s MY ornament on the tree?” Crap. I guess she’s taking the gold ring tonight.

Here’s my jolly little elves working yesterday.

Here’s the Death Ray in action:

I love weekend fambly time.

In Other Newses

A few weeks ago I bought a couple of velvet paintings at the Fremont Market. I finally remembered to hang them up. They really liven up the entryway, which was pretty stark before this. Companion has cut me off on velvet paintings, so now I will have to move on to more taxidermied heads, as my friend suggested.

They are red…I couldn’t say no. But now that at least 50% of our art features the medium velvet, I see his point.

Also, the Blogherinas asked me to tackle their “Question of the Week” this week. If you write on the topic of my question, you can use the little widgety thing to link your blog post to mine. And then you will get MAD HITZ. Or something.

Also ALSO, hey sweet, one of my wack made-up words got grabbed.