Beware Christmas Steve!

Last night the children were visited by Christmas Steve! He deigned to take some time off from working on his El Camino while drinking Natural Ice to break in.

The children practice hiding their toes in preparation for his visit, in case they get their toes pinched.

Franny was cross on the way to bed. She is a steadfast non-believer in everything except extra servings of dessert, so she knew I was just teasing her about Christmas Steve.

“It’s a good thing we don’t have a television to steal,” I commented, as we put out the customary pickled tomatoes and scotch to distract him from our possessions that have a worthwhile resale value.

“MOOOOM! Quit talking about Christmas Steve! You know that’s just some thing you made up! I don’t believe you!” She grumped off to bed.


But in the morning she was singing a different tune.

“MOM! Christmas Steve ripped open my socks and pinched my toes! This is so cool!”


They were also excited that they had been naughty enough to receive some crappy presents in exchange for the booze and (probable) use of the shower.


“Wow! I got a fricking laundry scoop!”

Franny was pleased with her present once she figured out what it was.


“What is this? This tape isn’t sticky.”

“Oh, it’s road marking tape,” Companion said.


Then it was used to make trails all over the house.


We also thought that Steve stole the baby’s socks, but as it turned out they just rolled up over her feet and were stuck around her ankles.


That Steve is pretty handy with a knife when he wants to pinch toes badly enough. And I’m certain that he was attracted to the heady vapors of naughtiness here, which emanated more strongly from our house than from any other in at least a four-block radius.

Happy Christmas Steve!

In Other News



Simple and elegant for the holidays. Try to prevent toddler from “straining herself” by scooting around in the colander on the nice wooden floor. Drink vodka from the bottle. Shake!

Last night I made cookies and propped the cooling rack over the sink, per Cook’s Illustrated. Then you just rinse the crumbs down the drain. It worked beautifully. I am going to grab some seafood, probably oysters and crab legs, at Pike Place for our Christmas Steve feast, and tomorrow I am going to try my hand at scratch pho. I have five pounds of knuckle bones and marrow bones in the fridge. See you after xmas with my stunning success or miserable pho-lure.

30 thoughts on “Beware Christmas Steve!

  1. Cooling rack over the sink? Brilliant! It’s tidbits like these that remind me how I love you, SJ, with all my heart AND with my domestic side.

  2. Is that the greatest? So simple. DOI. I wouldn’t do it before my kids were in bed as they tend to roller derby around the kitchen.

  3. I accidently made 10 dozen oatmeal raisin cookies yesterday.

    I don’t know that I could cool cookies on a cooling rack over a sink for the following reasons:
    1) sink is full of dirty dishes
    2) what if cookies fall into sink?
    3) sink is kind of scummy anyway, I should prolly clean it
    4) what if someone needs a glass of water and floods the cookies or knocks them on the floor?
    5) speaking of the floor, man it could use a good sweep anyway. would anyone even notice extra cookie crumbs? oh hey, a dead mouse.

Comments are closed.