WOOO TO THE FUCKING HOOO

Hey dudes.

So two days ago we were walking by the Zoo when we saw a duck with two brand new babies. They were going our way, so we decided to follow them at a discreet distance to see where they went. It was soon apparent that they were making their way directly to the lake, about a quarter of a mile from where we were.

The mother dipped down hills, crossed roads, and cut through bushes, with the little babies toddling along behind her full tilt. It was funny to watch them crash into things and their mother, trying to keep up. We stopped traffic for them at the Lake and they crossed the road and plopped into the water. The mother guzzled a bunch of water the minute she got into it, and it was obvious that it was the babies’ first time in, because they scrambled to get onto her back, which she wasn’t having any of. I wondered how many days it had been since she had had a drink. Do ducks have humps like camels, but full of duck fat? Yum. Next time I sees a duck I’m gonna tap it like a maple tree.

ANYWAY, did chav shopping today: cheap dress for next Friday, horrible accessories the likes of which may be purchased on the 12th floor of Hell (Ladies Lingerie, Handbags, Anal Probes), Nair (in case dear god there may be swimming, in which case I bring my own racing stripes), and roofies for any hot mommybloggers I encounter next week.

JUST KIDDING, I just use margaritas. Seriously, sporks, there are going to be a lot of mommybloggers up in the MF Blogher hizzy next week. I don’t know if I can hang with it all, but it sounds like there are going to be loads of peripheral activity to keep my cranky self occupied. Does anyone know of other little regular blogmeets in SF next weekend? Is there a PenisFest to counteract the feminine powers of the VagFest I will be going to? Additionally, I think the keynote is a bit of a comedown from Elizabeth Edwards last year.

Ungrateful McAsspants out.

WOW, Scott Pilgrim movie. Dunno how I feel about Michael Cera playing Scott, though. Too wimpy, methinks.

8 thoughts on “WOOO TO THE FUCKING HOOO

  1. phew. i am tired from all that SIGNING IN i had to do just to say an itty bitty thing.
    if you do find the penises, please let me know.
    also, sadly, there is no pool @ the St Fancy. i checked. so leave your cooter in tact.

  2. Delurking to suggest, dunno about PenisFests, but how about a daddyblogger to even out all teh mom-ness? Neal Pollack is reading as part of the Progressive Reading Series at 7 on Saturday at the Makeout Room. It’s a good lineup, (I wish I could be there myself but sadly they no longer let me out of my cage, i.e. the basement of the Brooklyn Public Library.)

  3. Hi Delurkey,

    I know I think Neal Pollack is a dick and I can’t remember why. I need to google so I can remember.

    Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll look into the lineup.

  4. You think Neal Pollack is a dick because Neal Pollack is, um, a dick.

    That could be it.

    I purchased my right to bitchsmack him when I purchased not one but two of his books and found them “teedjus” as The SoMeaninator would say. ;)

    Just like people purchase the right to gripe about Brotney Spores when they find her invading an otherwise inoffensive magazine, whether or not she is displaying her cooter-nanny or not.

    /joke

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