Strudel, holding a doll: SHE HAS TO DIE, THIS ONE HAS TO DIE!

Me, attempting to edit soups: No one has to die.

Strudel: THIS ONE DOES! THIS ONE IS GOING TO DIE!

Me: No one has to die.

Franny, to Strudel: You have to die.

Me: No one has to die.

Strudel: No, I don’t, do I, Mom?

Me: Yes, you have to die.

Strudel: *SCREAMS*

Franny: I’m going to glue your mouth shut. *Approaches* This isn’t toxic so it won’t taste bad.

Strudel: Do you know what Mom’s going to do to you?

Franny: NOTHING. She wants you to be quiet too.

Me: Don’t feed your sister a glue stick.

Presently: pants are flying off and there is leg wrestling.