Posts Tagged ‘sad weeping vagina problems’

Blue Screen of Def

Friday, November 14th, 2008

Hester Prynne is stroking out on me and according to my internet learnings, I am going to have to reinstall Vista, or, alternately, upgrade to XP, but I feel like my XP disk wasn’t working last time I tried that for some reason. So for now I type on the world’s fanciest abacus, Bob, the six-year-old laptop. Of course I have to write my Blogher article on this thing today. Seriously folks, I was looking for an old file and I stumbled across one that told me how many head of cattle the pharaoh had.

WHOA there’s no call for that, is there? No, there is not. Anyway, I turn HP on and there is just this loop that sounds like the AVG bug, but I know I didn’t take any action with AVG lately, so I dunno. It also says it’s XP only, but I am disinclined to believe a lot of what I hear because people are basically always just guessing until they get new info. Vista does a lot of things to itself, so…Hester Prynne, did you self-destruct?

Anyway, I hope I’m not the only one who feels like they can’t breathe when they lose access to their bookmarks and ReminderFox and all that shit. Wish me luck.

P.S. It is important for you to know I dreamt that I went to a party with my gay high school boyfriend and we had sex in the coatroom (YEAH, like that ever even came CLOSE to happening IRL). I think this is because I just picked up Which Brings Me to You, by Steve Almond and Julia Baggott, which starts similarly. I can’t remember the last time I picked up a book that actually had a good sex scene in it. Plus, I just finished Fangland which is a modern update on Dracula and it had the WORST sex scene ever (you may be surprised to learn that the damned don’t bother with oral hygeine).

Sex in a coatroom is probably the best way to begin the epistolary novel, because sometimes they can be a bitch to get into. I didn’t know who Baggott was, but Almond gives me a literary boner for serious.

Fuck it, I’m going running. I’ll be the one wheezing pathetically and listening to NPR. I think I’ve lost a little weight, which is good because I am like in my third try on week five. And now I am fine when I dash up stairs and across streets to the bus. It’s nice to have some encouragement. Downside: let’s not talk about or look at my stomach. It’s funny what babies and ten pounds here and there can do to you. PING I’m Doug and I’m OUTTA HERE!