Really, I would run out of swears so I will skip them.

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Hello, Ladies.

LABIA LACKLUSTER? PUDENDUM PALE? VULVA un-VIVACIOUS? MEH MEAT CURTAINS?

Never fear, ladies, PUSSY DYE TO THE RESCUE.

From the FAQ:

Q. “Help! I’ve noticed I am turning a more brown color down there on my inside lips, is this normal”?

A. Yes, it’s perfectly normal and there are many factors that can contribute to this. Ethnicity is a big factor, also age, hormone change, surgeries, childbirth, sickness, health, diet and medications can all contribute to a change from “Pink” to “Brown” in a woman’s genital area.

Ah, yes, that pesky “ethnicity” problem.

Well, you can look at the webpage and be horrified yourself, but I ask you now, for lulz and victory:

Call before you come I need to shave my chocha.

17 thoughts on “Really, I would run out of swears so I will skip them.”

  1. Someone posted about this in the feminist rav group, and one of the first commenters pointed out that she was never pink down there to begin with (and also that “nude” bras are not her skin colour).

  2. I really almost forwarded this to you today, and then I was like, do I really want SJ to think of me as that chick who always emails her crazy vagina shit from the internet? And the answer was no.

    BTW, I voted yes.

  3. On the one hand, yes, review plz. On the other hand, I would hate for you to give the creators any money. Any way to steal it?

  4. Yes, Zugenia, you are Vagina Claus.

    If I cannot torrent it I am SOL. Perhaps I can just have relations with a beet. ~vegan~

  6. Well if you going to do it, none of this wishy washy Marilyn crap. Straight to Audry for you.
    But seriously, $30 to dye your bits??

  7. OH NOES YOU GUISE MY DOWN TEHRE AR BRAWNE

    You want your too-terrifying-to-name pants lodger more pink? Whack it with a pingpong paddle. (That’ll be $15 please.) I can’t even fathom why anyone would want to slather their uglies in acid.

    Unless it was for a dare.

    Also, I dare you.

  8. I do not want you to give them any money, but I like everything you write, so it’s a tough call. Will they give you a sample so you can write a product review? In that case, I am all for it.

    Also, in particular as the mother of daughters, I would sure like your opinion of the new KickAss movie. Do you want to see it? Would you take Franny? etc. Because I won’t let my boy see it (age 13) because it’s rated R and because it looks rather too disturbing (same rationale as for Watchmen), but OKAY I JUST DELETED LIKE THREE PARAGRAPHS; I already know what I think. I would be very interested in YOUR opinion.

  9. Something about this seems really wrong. Plus, if it doesn’t last, it ain’t worth it. Don’t go puttin’ chemicals in your cooter, girl.

    On the other hand… it would be lulzy to hear your experience with such a product.

  10. Anne: I am thinking about Kick-Ass. At 9 I think she is too young. I don’t let her see any movies with people getting shot up, though I think she would be fascinated with seeing a young girl doing it.

  11. Oh man. I was wondering when this shit would hit the shelves. If you are going to brave the scary waters of poontang dye jobs, might as well jump in with both feet and review some anal bleaching for us. I wonder if they offer you some wet wipes before getting the sunshine in new places? I think it would be akward to stay in a doggy-style position with some one in a lab coat poking around back there with bleach. *jibblies*

  12. As a woman with a “pesky ethnicity problem,” I had to laugh out loud when I saw this. I can’t even imagine how silly I would look with pink parts on an otherwise brown body. I mean, can you imagine a brown man with a pink pole?

    (And, FWIW, all of my partners have been white, and they have seemed simply FASCINATED with my brown bits. I’m not sure if this is good or bad….)

  13. Jessica, I’ve been with brown men with pink poles. And white men with brownish poles. There’s a rainbow of colors.

    Also, this is to dye the skin, no? At first I was thinking it was for the pubes and was wondering why not use regular ol hair dye? I had a male friend do that once, BLUE..because if you’re a man, what other color would you dye your ball hair?

  14. Only Kind Of Related Story: Last night my husband and I were hanging out with some of our neighbors and their kids. One woman said her daughter, who is about 11 and has gorgeous red hair cut like Joan Jett’s when she was in the Runaways, wanted to dye her hair black because all the girls were going to do it at a sleepover the next night, and she wanted to know if we thought it was okay fro this mother to allow her daughter to do that. So we’re all saying yes and no and whatever, and then the guy whose house it was said, “Well it’s just on her head, right? I’d say no if she wants to dye her public hair, but just on her head, well why not?” AND NO ONE KNEW WHAT TO SAY NEXT.

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