Really, I would run out of swears so I will skip them.

Hello, Ladies.

LABIA LACKLUSTER? PUDENDUM PALE? VULVA un-VIVACIOUS? MEH MEAT CURTAINS?

Never fear, ladies, PUSSY DYE TO THE RESCUE.

From the FAQ:

Q. “Help! I’ve noticed I am turning a more brown color down there on my inside lips, is this normal”?

A. Yes, it’s perfectly normal and there are many factors that can contribute to this. Ethnicity is a big factor, also age, hormone change, surgeries, childbirth, sickness, health, diet and medications can all contribute to a change from “Pink” to “Brown” in a woman’s genital area.

Ah, yes, that pesky “ethnicity” problem.

Well, you can look at the webpage and be horrified yourself, but I ask you now, for lulz and victory:

Call before you come I need to shave my chocha.