Whatcha Gonna Do When You Get Out Jail

On Thursday I talked to SeaFed, Franny’s father. This is the closest I will come to doing any kind of intervention, and it’s for my kid and not really having anything to do with the person who has a problem. I laid out what I knew, which added up to me not feeling comfortable with Franny being unsupervised over at my mother’s house.

It’s always awful talking to him. I always feel like I have ten seconds to make my pitch before he rings the gong. Of course we would rather chew our respective legs off than have a conversation anyway, so there is the knowledge that if one of us calls the other for A Talk it is some serious motherfucking shit.

“Okay,” he said. “I won’t tell your mom you said anything, I will just be delicate when I bring it up.”

“Don’t be DELICATE,” I said. “You didn’t hear this on craigslist, you heard it from ME. Shout it from the rooftops! Something is wrong right now! I don’t want to see Franny in a car crash or left alone. That is all I care about.”

“Alright, fine, no unsupervised visits for now. I’ll speak to your sister Friday.”

I have no idea if he did or did not. I heard from my sister a bit via text today, but she was so anxious over the last few days about making waves with my mom I don’t want to get up her butt.

One thing that got to me a bit was that SeaFed was so apologetic about my mother, and it wasn’t even that, exactly. I just wanted to say, I don’t know her anymore, even. All I care about is Franny. Which I pretty much did say, I think.

How much does it suck to get a person who basically hates you on your side? I wonder if he thinks about when we were divorcing and he asked her for an analysis of his habits with alcohol for the court and she wrote that she thought he was an out-of-control alcoholic. He did not see that coming, did he? BACKFIRE.

I have this fantasy that my sister being pissed at my mother and my ex not letting Franny go over there will be a wake up call. I would like to see complete rehab happen. Who knows what will happen, though.

This is weird, I wish it wasn’t happening. Just like a lot of life.




Sup bangstoast. I played Munchkin most of the afternoon with this one.

7 thoughts on “Whatcha Gonna Do When You Get Out Jail

  1. I had a horrible, mean/crazy alcoholic stepmother, and that is one of the main reasons I haven’t had kids. I am afraid of screwing them up just like she screwed me up. So I see you take a stand, and it is achingly beautiful to me that you are protective and fierce about the safety and emotional health of your children, and I want to cry. A good cry, I mean. There is hope, I think, in the world sometimes.

  2. i am with lorena. what a horrible situation but the way you protect your kids and do what you need to do is brilliant. hope you are okay xx

  3. Firstly, Strudel is beautiful. I love goofy, happy kids.

    Second, you are awesome. I’m sorry you’re even in this position but this is what is known as Breaking The Cycle and you’re doing it with grace. I hope your mom does get help and is able to get healthy someday. Your kids are not her therapy and they don’t need to see her at any time when you don’t think it’s safe for them. You know that, but heres some imaginary person on the internet telling you that you are right.


  4. Dude, I’m with JendaJen on this. Kudos for standing your ground. And you’re doing it all on you own without Al-Anon (or some such). You are a good mom.

  5. Thanks. I just hope I have some kind of buy in from the person who has been letting her go over there against my wishes for the past five years.

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