I went to the Ye Olde Pub on Thursday night to celebrate my friend’s vice-presidential coup. I was disturbed to learn that a few of my compatriots and future colleagues are reading my blog on a regular basis. I’ve been saying it a lot lately, but damn you, mai tais.
I would try to tell a story, and they’d say, “Yeah, yeah, we know all about your vulva.” My sentences were being finished for me. Before the following picture was taken, I said, “Hey, make sure you get my rack in the picture.” They said, “Yeah, yeah, we know, you and your giant rack.”
Dammit! I don’t think I need to go to pub night anymore, because they all ready know my boring story.
I thunk it war a hat.
the flowers, I mean.
It do look like a hat.
I’d like to be a little drunky myself right now.
My irl friends read my blog too. Solution? I got new friends.
Yeah it’s a little disturbing, but, you know, your blog tells me things about you that just don’t/haven’t come up in conversation for some reason. I don’t know why the topic of skivvies has never come when we talked in real life; possibly it’s because we are both part of the choir and I usually preach to the heathens.
See, yer blog informed me that you are part of the thong-wearing elite. I mean, people thought I was some aberrant prevert because I would extoll their virtues… and everyone would bristle at the thought. “Why would you want to wear floss up your asscrack,” they would all ask. I’d then have to tell them that, when you actually periodically notice during the day, it becomes a pleasant form of spontaneous stimulation. What the hell is wrong with these chumps? Like there’s something wrong with spontaneous anal stimulation???
But see, thanks to your extensive discourse on the subject in print, I know that we are united in the revolution. The infidels will all be crucified by their tighty-whities and granny-pan’ies.
Your hair looks cute.
And your teeth are very white!
Didja really wish to get plowed by a train? Student writing can do that to you.
OK you had me at Now 86% More Likely To Get Kicked in the Taco
I think I love you.
Your church lady hat replete with yellow mums is FANTASTIC, Dahling. The ladies at Gigi Hats on Grace Street would be envious.
Lookin’ hot, as always.
Shareev don’t like it…ROCK THE CAT SPA!
ROCK THE CAT SPA…!
Too bad the color black makes it hard to see your rack. Dang.
Yeah, you got rack.
No, we don’t know your story already. You think we actually believe this stuff you spew? ;) It’s all a pose — I can see the sensible just waiting to come out. Oh yeah.