I would have a cool $1.15 right now, I tells you. Don’t worry, I did not leave you! We are coming up on ten years with this crapheap, so I am like those creepy BEHOLD I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS Jesus paintings. If you really want to know if I died, I have a Twittergraph which is overshare central and am microblogging at Tumblr and flickr too (TOO MUCH ASSHOLE). Or you can email me. WHATEVAHS!
What happened, though, is that my registration with Godaddy was about to expire, and I was putting off re-upping it (lazy, ADD, malaise, etc.) and THEN the news broke that the CEO of Godaddy hunts elephants for fun. SAD PANDA x INFINITY. I mean fuck that. So I transferred to a new host!
I got spraytanned today! WOW! I actually look just like when I spend weeks mutating my cells the old-fashioned way. Yay to no cancer, except possibly for whatever you’re breathing in. It was funny to be naked with goop all over my hands and feet to prevent what the tanning clerk lady called “TERIYAKI FINGERS” (rad).
Tomorrow morning I am leaving for tropical vacation, hence the fake bake, and I will be back on the 15th! I will probably update before then though, because I’m bringing the slaptop. Am I also bringing my leopard dress and my head-sized earrings and my ridiculous bling blang wedges? Of course I am. Be good!
I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS.
Really. I panicked there for like 2 days. I’m too old for shit like that. Don’t do it AGAIN! I had to have the axe lady Twitter you. One takes the little joys in life as they come. Your blog is one of those.
Hey thanks. No soup here!
Have fun/b safe on u’re vacation! wish i was there!!
This was an important post, because now I have you on my tumbls.
Oh man… I was desperately looking for your email address so I could make sure you were still alive! i remember back in ’01 (or was it ’02?) when you dissapeared because of that baboon of an ex-husband of yours…
Sheesh, SJ, so glad you are back and bronzed… Can’t wait to hear about all the joys of vacation (or mishaps, or lost luggage and Montezuma’s Revenge)
Really, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you again… :(
Wait a bling blang minute. Don’t you ever do that again or else the animals start running the ZOO! Have fun
You would have closer to $2.00, because I asked several people where you snatched up your blob and ran off to. I am super jealous of your tanned weave (which one you will never know) and hope you have a vacation that doesn’t bring you back home needing a vacation. Or something.
hey! good stuff on the new host and all… that Go Daddy bibmo is CREEPY!
Have fun on your trip, and come back with lots of stories!*
-Herbie
*Stories will not be cross-checked for veracity.
So these 2 whales are swimming around in the ocean (natch) and they come up underneath a pretty big boat. Conversation as follows:
Whale #1 “How about I shoot some air outta my blowhole, blow the boat up in the air and then we can eat all the sailors that fall off the deck?”
Whale #2 “I’ll do the blowjob, but I don’t want to swallow any seaman!”
Enjoy the whale watching!
How do you wear those shoes? I am so hapless that unless shoes are firmly strapped to my feet that they go flinging off. I admire people who can have nice things.
I have been following your blog for many years now, after reading the post about the lioness escaped from the zoo. It was very touching and your attitude is inspiring to me.