I am in the process of watching Franny’s dad not listen to or consult with her, and it is twisting me. He’s telling me he’s going to take her to see my mother on Friday. She doesn’t want to go. I’m not opposed to her having a functional, respectful relationship with her father. I don’t really understand the idea of him forcing her to see people she doesn’t want to see who no one else in her family sees either. He got really mad when I told him she’s an alcoholic. Being confronted with other people’s habits or problems can be like looking into a mirror. I have experienced this myself in other ways.
I don’t have much to say about this. I think I just need to express my disbelief that it’s happening again. It happened for spring break. He emails me, tell me what’s going to happen as if he is asking my permission. It’s contrary to whatever she wants. I feel like he wants collusion, but I cannot sell her out like that. I feel cheap, man! Like I could say yes to something and not know they’ve already talked about it and she’s expressed her opinion. She’s old enough to decide where she wants to spend her spring break. I’m not going to tell him how to parent her, either.
Being her advocate is exhausting and never-ending…and totally what I signed up for. However, sometimes I can relate to this asshole.