Dear Revlon,
Your new, limited-edition nail enamel “Twilight” is utterly and completely off-the-hook. I get mad compliments on it wherever I go. I wore it to court the other day, and it works at night too. It is trashy in a very good way…this is my summer color. Also, this stuff is NOT chipping. My little girl and I think it totally rules!!! I feel just like Paris Hilton, except you know, without the millions of dollars, tiny chihuahua, and the lazy eye. Please keep making it!
Six Days Later:
Dear Ms. Asshole:
We have received your comments from the Revlon website and wish to thank you for taking the time to contact us regarding Nail Enamel Twilight.
We love to hear from our consumers, but more so when words are as kind as yours!
Thank you for sharing your observations about our product. We assure you that your comments have been noted and forwarded to the appropriate personnel.
Thank you for your interest in Revlon products. We hope to continue to serve your cosmetic needs.
Sincerely,
Rachel
Sr. Consumer Services Representative
Revlon Consumer Information
OK–Twilight. Copying you. I need a summer color. I have to cut my nails short to stop stabbing my baby and only flashy colors look good with short nails.
Who are the ‘appropriate personnel?’ My boy wants to know whether the chemists in the back room are giving each other high fives?
i hope you make sure they continue to serve your cosmetic needs! or POW!
Do you colour your toe nails too?
I have a summer color: ruddy.
Why can’t I find it online?
Where did you buy it?
I love your Run Lola Run hair color
Aaaah, political activism at it’s finest! Go SJ!!
“Appropriate personnel” sounds kind of ominous…
(Four days later Paris Hilton’s hit squad shows up)
what colour is twilight?
i haven’t bought nail polish in over 5 years! how sad!!!
what i have is all dried up or else too gummy and sticky.
Dayment: I found it at KMart, of all places.
It is a weirdy purple color.
Toenails: I do them robot silver.
between you and halcyon and now tassy, i swear i think pink is the new black.
you.
such a trend setter.
revlon ought to know more.
I hope they sent you some coupons in response to such a sweet letter as yours!
My summer color is “She Got Game,” by Caboodles. It’s a light teal with sparkly glitter in it. Takes about 15 coats, but once it’s on, it’s like a Maaco paintjob that’s on there for good.
Ah, yes, I love that technique with the glitter polish.
Now they just need to come up with a color called Milkshake Violet, ’cause, you guessed it, it brings all the boys to the yard.
And if it doesn’t, at least you can scratch their eyes out in style whilst they’re ogling Kelis’ milkshake…
Did I just say that? No way. I meant… Uh. You’ll still look pretty foxy.
heh.