“I was taken aback, I had come up against the Feminist.”

I’m experiencing that fun kind of mania on that first day after you recover from some kind of bug. An informal poll at my workplace today showed that I am alone in this among respondents surveyed. Ah well. Long story long, I am feeling better.

Also, I am writing a murder mystery as of about two weeks ago. I feel like I need to really think about what I am doing and structure. I want to go really traditional within the classic format. You know, can I do a Tijuana donkey show in haiku format? We will see. I wanted to write another short story, but there is a LOT of plot happening there. Feels full-fledged. It’s kind of nice staring down the barrel of “okay you fucker you’re going to write every day so you might as well turn something out at the appropriate length for the story.” RIGHT? *deep crazy gasping breaths*

I have decided to bone Miss Marple bone up on Miss Marple, to really dive into the epitome of the murder mystery formula. I started with The Moving Finger (1942). Let me tell you, this is my first experience with a moving finger that did not have “-bang” appended to it. Pretty good. Except. The villain is…A FRUSTRATED FEMINIST. Dun dun…unshaven parts. Bitches be libbin.

This is not a review, because why bother? Agatha Christie has her deserved place in the canon. One thing I am enjoying is the vocabulary! For no reason, let’s have an

Agatha Christie Dictionary for Ignant* Americans and Search Engine-Challenged.

Happy Families: UK card game. Reminds me of the American Old Maid game. I bet the Old Maid did it too, in the motherfucking parlor, with her unequal paycheck. :(((( 1.

I hate my love with an A: Game used as a memory device. “Ah,” cried Mrs. Dane Calthrop. “I hate my love with an A. That’s it. Anonymous letters!” 1.

Kit-kat: cockney (?) rhyming slang for “prat.” “Merely kit-kat,” I said in a stern aside to her. 1.

Potatoes in heels: Holes in stockings. 1.

S.A.: sex appeal. “It’s funny, isn’t it?” she said. “Some people have lots of looks and absolutely no S.A.” 1.

1. The Moving Finger

*Ignant=me. I’ll add to this as I read more.

PS I am developing Miss Marple porno:

The Moving Fingerbang
A Caribbean Mystery, or How Miss Marple Got Her Groove Back
A Pocket Full of Rubbers
The Hot Body at the Library
They Do It with Mirrors (as-is)

7 Responses to ““I was taken aback, I had come up against the Feminist.””

  1. hovy says:

    I hope your Miss Marple porn involves a cameo appearance by the one, and only, Hercule Poirot!

    Ride that ‘stache, Marple baby!

  2. iasshole says:

    HAAAAA that is so busted.

  3. V's Herbie says:

    Think you could get Judy Dench to play marple? I would totally watch that.

  4. iasshole says:

    It’ll be like the Carrie Diaries, so I’m thinking Courtney Stodden.

  5. V's Herbie says:

    I had to google Courtney Stodden, but from the pic on her website, she could use a lecture on proper bra fitting. Possibly delivered by Poirot while she is suspended mid air, face down, with some of those complicated bondage knots.

  6. Julie says:

    BITCHES BE LIBBIN.

    That is all.

  7. shauna says:

    They Do It with Mirrors (as-is)

    SNORTLE!!!