Last night I went to visit my sister in her new digs so we could watch the premiere of this season’s ANTM. Her neighborhood has many apartment buildings that used to be kitchenette hotels built for visitors to the World’s Fair in 1962. As a result, many of the buildings are practically identical, since they were knocked up at the same time.
I walked up to her door and idly noticed that the unit next to her, which had been vacant, was now occupied. “That was quick,” I thought. I knocked on her apartment door and was greeted by a middle-aged white guy. I had that moment: “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SISTER?” I looked around and wondered where her furniture was…and then I knew. I was at the identical building next door to my sister’s. What can I say? It was dark.
The man smiled. Was he expecting me? Was he some kind of freaky radioactive gypsy who would tell me my next baby daddy would be Geraldo Rivera? (I could only be so lucky.) He looked a little drunk and was wearing suspenders.
“Oh, man, sorry!” I said. “I am at the wrong building, I think. This isn’t Eisenhower Terrace, is it?”
“Nooo,” he drawled slowly, his smile widening. “But I’ll tell you what, this may be Nixon Manor.”
I backed away a little. “Okay, well, sorry. I was looking for the same apartment next door.”
“Alright,” he said. He seemed totally unperturbed and even a little pleased that I had doltishly knocked on his door. I think that if my sister’s not home some time I could just head over to his place.
“Goodnight,” I said.
“Goodnight.”
I told my sister what I had done. “And he looked like he was happy to see me,” I concluded.
“Really,” she said.
“Well, I am pretty cute,” I said.
“Hmm,” she said. My sister always knows when to say “hmm.”
I love it when people are actually nice, not rude or standoffish. I had a shit day today. I’m hoping it doesn’t get any worse or else I might start knocking on random doors and asking if I can move in!
Is your sister the original composer of the song “Things That Make You Go Hmmm”? She totally is, isn’t she.
(We went to grad school together SJ–I was the one who was sitting next to you in the admissions committee, in a puddle of terrible, haarrrible what-am-I-doing-here-these-professors-are-so-high-schooly mist. Just recently found your blog and like it a lot.)
Hey, that means Librarian Girl went to grad school with me, too! You’re in my bloglines, but I never figured out who you are.
SJ, you ARE pretty cute.
Heey Librarian Girl!!! How you doin’?
I’m doing grrrreat thanks (please use Tony the Tiger voice while reading that).
Grad school seems so far away now, don’t it?
You sound like you’re doing well!
I’ll be back!
I’ll be peeping you too. I know there are loads of lurkers here, so thanks for leaving a link!
Kickboxing hotness!
So what’d you think of the ANTM premiere? I was astounded by the number of giant pictures of Tyra they managed to cram into the girls’ apartment. A new record!
Have you ever seen a picture of a non-weirded Weird Al? He’s hot stuff. Really.
Ohhh, ANTM, I know it! All Tyra. All the time. I think she strongarmed the new CW into that shit. And wtf was up with those informercials?
Contractors w/Cookie Cutters
Funny stuff…We live in 92-unit Townhouse-walled-development. They ALL look the same.
Occasionally I get to meet some PYT who sheepishly approaches me in the yard or drive wanting to know if I know Bob or Ted or Frank?
She went to his house last night, had too much to drink, and left something over. Now she does not even know his last name and needs to find him.
Hmmmm, indeed
To the point and an excellent article.