1. Thanks everyone for all the congratulations. I think even though I am a married lady now, I am still a ho with many babydaddies at heart. You can take the girl out of the welfare line….

We are going to Canadia, to see wild Canadians in their natural habitat for one week for our honeymoon. Companion says that if I am still and quiet, we may be able to blow-dart one and tag its ear to track it. All newlyweds, between overly-enthusiastic bouts of UTI-inducing “frolicking,” sit at home nowadays, tracking their docile Canadian via computer that they have tagged themselves. It seems to be reducing the divorce rate, or something.

ANYWAYZ, tonight we carved pumpkins. It was fun until the baby flipped her lid (sensory overload on the squish guts?) and started screaming and throwing seeds. You never know with that one; she’s going through a real Sybil stage. Mostly, she just needed a snack. Making a huge mess is simply exhausting, darling.

Figure 1: Squishy squishy coco puffs.


Figure 2: A scary black cat for all your scary black cat needs.

Figure 3: Strudel’s patented “DUH” face. I’m trying to remember where I’ve seen it before…*COUGHCOUGH*Companion*COUGHCOUGH*.

Franny wanted to do a ghost face. She drew the outline of a ghost with eyes and a mouth on the inside. I looked at her sketch.

“How are we going to do a body outline and get the eyes in there too? Do you see that the eyes will just fall out?” I asked her.

“Well, Mom, there are clever ways to do that. You have to be a clever kind of a person.”

“Okay, well, what would a clever person do?”

Franny thought for a minute.

“I don’t know,” she finally replied.

Since the brain trust over here didn’t feel like fooling with toothpicks or fishing line, so I talked her into a scary face with hands on either side. Companion created a very inspired skeleton, and I did my fall-back when I can’t think of anything else: an angry cat.

cleek

As I carved Franny’s sketch for her, she offered ungrateful commentary.

“Hmm, Mom. You are making the edges all funny.”

“This is not as easy as you’d think,” I replied.

“Well, I suppose you’re doing the best you can,” she concluded.

You’re welcome, Franny. Perhaps for the next holiday we will just sit in our cardboard boxes and stare at the wall, HMMM?

2. Whippet Takes It To The Hole, Again

Tomorrow is Trick-or-Chump day, as well as Companion’s birthday. My friend Whippet says we should come trick-or-treating with her kids after school in Fremont, when the businesses will be offering candy.

“Have you bought candy yet?” she asked.

“No,” I admitted.

“Well, this is perfect. The stores give out candy. You pick out the stuff you don’t want, and you give it out tonight. BAM! You don’t even have to buy it.”

That Whippet, she’s always five steps ahead of everyone else. I admit I am a little jealous of her son’s costume choice this year: Farmer/Pirate, which is a slashie I’ll bet no one’s heard of yet.

“I’m just relieved he dropped his first idea,” she confided to me while we were waiting outside of school today.

“What’s that?” I said.

“A shark/tiger! How was I supposed to pull that off?”

3. Franny and Strudel Gut Pumpkins…Without DJ Assault as a Soundtrack.

I know, weird, right?