Thanks everyone, for giving me some sweet, sweet reader’s advisory. Mmm, yeah. I will certainly pursue some of your leads.
1. So, what’s going on? I am having one of those times where I am busy with very boring things. I look back on the day, and I say, “Man, today was jam-packed…with lameness.” On the other hand, it’s keeping the winter wackness at bay, for now.
Supa is a busy working lady for pay now, after being out of the paid work force for eight years. The tables have turned so completely. When I met her, she was at home with her crazy girls, and I was just about to start graduate school. Now Supa is relishing her freedom from being screamed at and vomited on all day. Because when that happens at work, people get fucking FIRED!
After her first day Supa texted me: “Working is so much easier than being a mom!” Ha! The secret’s out now. Watch out, indolent husbands.
2. I don’t usually talk about this. Ugh.
I have taken leave of the kickboxing. It is due to be over this week, but I haven’t been feeling right since I got back from Canadia. I’ve had syphilis for forty-three years, and my nose is collapsing, so I think I should have something done about that so I don’t ruin my pretty face.
Figure 1: The author in repose.
HAHA! LOLLERBLISTERS. Seriously, I am having balance issues related to my inner ear. My grandma has Meniere’s Disease and had her inner ear removed to correct her balance problems. I have been having occasional balance problems since I was in my teens–it started when I cracked my head when I was sixteen. My boyfriend noticed that my pupils were wildly uneven and they have been to varying degrees since then.
So ever since I got back from Wild Canadia, I have been having vertigo again. By the time dinner rolls around, it’s like I’ve been on a ship all day. According to my cyber-chondriacal Googling, I am having severe vertigo, which means the ship’s still moving even when I’m laying down. I can’t get off! My room doesn’t even have a porthole. Or a cabin boy. Although if there was a cabin boy I might barf on him, and I think he might find that discouraging.
My thesis is that I don’t want them to operate on my head. Because then I might go deaf. And really, the tinnitus keeps me from getting lonely. How else will the aliens talk to me? I’m going to the doctor tomorrow. Don’t worry, I have a good track record of keeping away from Bonus Holes.
To keep on the exercise tip, I am starting a yoga immersion at the end of the month. I am somewhat ashamed of my exercise dilettantery, but the whole scheduled, paid exercise thing is working out really well. It is a little weird to spend most of your adult life without any money at all and then to have that change. I used to think that I could get by on three shoestrings and a broken stick, but it’s nice to lay in bed and not worry about food and bills so much.
3. Tiiiiny Apples
Strudel is demanding apples and leaving rat bites all over them and then abandoning them to get brown and fuzzy in a corner. If you try to slice them, she will scream.
“What this kid needs,” Companion observed, “is some tiny apples.”
I didn’t think it was going to happen, but LO! there we were at the grocery store on Monday , confronted with tiny apples. I believe they are called Sweet Petite.
They’re pretty good! You can slice them up and put them in fruit salad, and HOW FUCKING PRECIOUS WOULD THAT BE? Pretty fucking, I’d say.
“relishing her freedom from being screamed at and vomited on all day. Because when that happens at work, people get fucking FIRED!”
i just did AN ACTUAL SPIT-TAKE.
ps: we miss you.
pps: “we” meaning “me and my multiple personalities”
Nice to know. I get that feeling sometimes that my life us so boring I just need to STFU and live for a few days. ;)
Well, Franny’s coming back today, so I suspect things will liven up again soon.
Strudel looks eerily like my godister’s daughter in that first shot.
I JUST bought those very apples for the Strudel in my life who also insists on eating apples, but won’t stand for them to be cut up and also takes tiny rat bites and leaves them in subtle hiding spots…They actually make a very nice ceterpiece on the dining table – piled up in a bowl.
When it’s my kid’s turn to be the “snack helper” at her preschool I make sure to send in those wee apples all washed and rebagged into a fresh brown paper sack that says, in permanent black marker, “WASHED” and I know they want chips, moonpies, pretzels, pizza bites, 0% juice pouches, cheesy poofs, hohos, mtn. dew, hot pockets, chex party mix, pop rocks, but NO … I send in apples :) fresh, crispy apples. I tell my daughter to inform the class that the fiber is good for their colons.
Hey, I had vertigo for over a year a while back and I know some things that help. For starters — don’t let yourself become dehydrated, ever. Tons of water. No caffeine or alcohol (sorry, but if you felt like I did, you don’t want to drink anyway). Start taking a high potency vitamin and mineral supplement with anti-oxidents, if you don’t already. And start taking gingko biloba. Avoid vinegars, too much salt, and anything with sulfites. Sleep with your head elevated. Ugh. It stinks. But it does pass!!! Email me if you want more info…. hope you feel better soon.
I have seen them called Lady Apples–but whatever they are named, they are CUTE.
Hey, I just got diagnosed with a really mild form of Meniere’s. My mom’s got it too and it’s not much fun. :P But I’ve been off caffeine, booze and trying to go low salt for the last month. Seems to help. I’ve also been trying to stay hydrated, as Marian said. Good luck!
I like the fact that Strudel is pointing at the baby apple…like “Gimme it now! Please?!”
I had a friend who had bouts of severe vertigo, and it turned out to be a chunk of earwax thwacking against . . . some part of his inner ear, I don’t remember what. The eardrum, I want to say, but you’d think that would make some serious noise.
Anyway, the doctor squirted some liquid into his ear that dissolved the earwax; how creepy is that? something that dissolves earwax but leaves all the delicate, fragile skin and mucous membranes running around in there perfectly intact. It’s like Nair or something, a substance which also creeps me the fuck out. Nax, I guess you could call it.
But I don’t know that I should necessarily say this, because marian’s advice seems so good, whether it cures your brand of vertigo or not.
Strudel’s got some really fuckin’ cute feets.
Strudel = delicious.
Holes post = genius.
I’m glad you posted. I’ve been missing you so much since I started work, and you’ve been silent, so I couldn’t even internet stalk you! I’m sorry that you’re still not feeling well – I hope that your trip to the doctor helped!
Loves!
I have to second the genius of the hole post. “I cracked his zen riddle.” And then you were enlightened.
Sorry about the inner ear thing. Crappity, I say, having learned that word from you.
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