LO! Gather around, Libertines, and behold the tale of Christmas Steve! You have to be particularly naughty or Christmas Steve won’t come! So hit the bricks now, or else you won’t get your flipflapperies codswalloped (and I know you would be sad if you missed out).

So a new tradition is born: the Tale of Christmas Steve. He’s just a fledgling legend now–I imagine this will be expanded next year.

Anyway, once I told you that we were opening raw oysters over here, which was followed by the Internet shitting the bed, followed by me taking a trip to Fluport.

Today I am still trying to hold my lungs inside my body, because if I cough one more time I think they will flee, but I thought I’d post a couple of pictures from our Xmas Steve.

Figure 2: Franny traipses around in traditional Indian garb. This was one of many costume changes this day.

Figure 3: Frannie “oohs” as Companion shucks oysters.

Companion volunteered to handle the oyster shucking. I was doing a lot of cooking, and he said, “You’ve got to give me something to do!” We went to Whole Paycheck that morning to buy the oysters, because I figured they’d have the biggest, freshest selection, and that the counterpeople would know exactly when they had come in, and which ones would be good to eat on the half-shell.

I told the man who was helping us that I had eaten many oysters in restaurants, but had never done it at home. He insisted on coming around the counter to give us a demonstration. I found some clear directions on the web, but it was nothing like seeing it in person. He also said to put them in the freezer for fifteen minutes before opening them.

Figure 3: Franny mugs like a big mugger. (Note costume change.)

In a restaurant, oysters are certainly a luxury food (expensive). At home, they were 75¢ a piece. We took home twelve. Actually, it was thirteen, because after the fish guy demo’ed the oyster opening, he let me try it. I have never had an oyster at ten in the morning, with no lemon or sauce or anything. It was fantastic.

Supa and her girls were over. We offered all the girls one to try, but only Franny stepped forward. She said she liked it. But she also says she likes coffee, and even if I make her a cup of Southern kiddie coffee she can’t drink more than a sip.

Strudel, on the other hand….

Figure 4: “OH. HONEY, it’s just like I used to say to my third husband, Harold, I said….”

I served them with slivers of Meyer lemon and black pepper on a bed of ice in my cast iron skillet. They were amazing. Including the oyster knife, which was about four bone, this was something like a fifteen-dollar treat. Next time it will be cheaper, because we will keep the knife.

Figure 5: Done!

I highly recommend oysters at home.

In Other News

Today the plumber is coming again. My neighbor and I have done all the tests, and we’ve determined that the water line into the house is leaking. Our first real clue was that the water bill doubled between October and now, but when I think back I realize the water pressure’s gotten worse for the past couple of months or so.

He came on Friday to make a bid for the job, and today I think they’re going to start digging. The water company will eat the extra money it charged us, and my landlady’s paying for the plumber, which is all a relief.

I suspect there’s been a small leak for a while, and it’s just now really opened up. I hope our water bill will be even lower than it was when we first moved in.

This house is old as hell but I love it here. I hope she doesn’t decide to sell out to the townhouse developers, because she could probably make a lot of money doing that. The neighborhood’s going pretty crazy with townhouses as it is–one going up across the street from us this summer. We’ve let her know we really like living here, just in case she was toying with the idea. It’s good to let people know what you think, I figure.