Pushing Water Uphill

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I had to ask Franny’s stepmother again this morning to notify me when they take her out of the state. Their reaction always makes me feel like such a spaz. I actually resorted to that incredibly lame, “Imagine if your kid was gone half the month, and you didn’t know where she was, etc.” She kind of yeah yeah yeahed me. She said that her notification was having Franny call me last week. Franny still can’t quite communicate on that level, and told me they had already gone on their trip, which was surprising.

At least she asked what the conditions of the agreement are this time. And then she turned on me, because we are going out of town next week, “Well, are you going to notify us?” Of course. I always do. Damn.

I feel like I can’t bring stuff up, but I do anyway. Perseverance in the face of…blaseness, I guess.

15 thoughts on “Pushing Water Uphill”

  6. Bring it up. A lot. Hell, make it a drinking game.

    You are her mother, and a judge said they have to, and they have to be held to that. You should not be the defensive one. And I hate that you sort of feel that way.

  7. God do I know what you mean. In my similar situation, we are communicating somewhat better since the California incident, but we still talk as little as possible. Any time I bring up anything important, I feel like I have to have my fists up, ready to block any blows coming my way.

    Good for you, stick to your guns.

  8. I really hate your ex, dude. And I hate that you have to be the mature, sensitive parent and try to get along with him and his moron wife. I don’t think that I could ever keep my cool in these situations as well as you do…I’m sitting here in another STATE for chrissakes, and I’m STEAMED. What the hell is their problem? Why can’t they just act like adults and abide by the rules?

  9. Oh, I totally blow it sometimes. I should compile a list of my greatest freakout hits. But it is getting better. I am just so tired of “court paperwork whaaa?”

  10. Lame! It is SO frustrating to deal with endless stupid bullshit like that, and the pretext of having the kid communicate for them is such crappy crap-being the reasonable party gets old fast, huh?

    I can’t even count the number of times I’ve gritted my teeth and edited my emails to something resembling grace and diplomacy instead of the bitchslapping so richly deserved.

    Keep up the good work, SJ. Perseverance is a parents best friend and your girls will SO figure out who’s got their back for real.

    :)

  11. Sometimes ex’s do achieve a suprising level of maturity as they, er, mature. My brother’s ex, upon whom I very seriously wanted to take out a contract, has in the last two years become a most-of-the-time reasonable and considerate person with respect to custody arrangements and specifics. I hope that the same tolerably responsible attitude smites Franny’s other household, but that it doesn’t take them ten years to wise up.

  14. I’ve been lurking here for a while, but this shit just burns me up! Having the child (no matter what age or level of communication they are capable of) is not adequate notification of anything. My parents had split custody (every other week-type… talk about bad ideas) and by the time I was a teenager I was a PRO at “notifying” my parents that I was going to be at mom’s/dad’s/friend’s house, whilst I was wherever the hell I wanted to be and doing whatever the hell it is that I wanted to do. The “parents” in question were never the wiser cuz they couldn’t keep it together long enough to even speak to one another over the phone, much less have a meaningful conversation about the upbringing of their mutual child. Result? Parents who never knew where their kid was! And they STILL have no clue.

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