Friends, lovers, people from Sheboygan, your mom, assmittens, I greet you. Last night, inspired by my recent viewing of Sweeney Todd, I took one look in the fridge and decided to make a meat pie. I’m certain no one will miss the letter carrier that package of lamb. I threw in a giant bag of matsutakes, a carrot, some onion, and bam, my dope-smoking spirit animal sang to me in my sleep. Twas pie. Even Nietzsche partooketh. She likes her some pie.

This pie LOOOOVES you. I love February today. Usually February brings insanity and bizarre fits of cleaning, plans for an ill-conceived novel (which now has been worked into my schedule once a month) and threats to run away from home. But I am hanging in there. Ask me again in three days.

Because in three days I may be trapped under the landslide of the auction, which is quickly approaching in April. I read with great interest recently what Badgerbag had to say about fundraisers, and how much they BLOW and I totally am feeling it. At this point, I just want to pay more tuition and be left alone. And when I come to people with my sad Bambi eyes and I’m like “OH PLZ will you run desserts” and they look at me like I am about to sit them down in front of a slide show of aborted fetuses, I think something is not working. Badger’s point about how this should be PAID WORK if it’s so damn critical to the operation and continued existence of the school. Community building, volunteerism, bliddy bladdy, I am not buying it anymore. I have attended many a parent night and pot luck, and I get to know parents just as well that way.

HOWEVER, I think I wrangled a good deal by having tuition comped, at least. This is as it should be. It’s kind of sad that I have scored such a deal just by creating a job for myself and getting some kind of compensation. It would be fantastic if there was a paycheck on top of this, but the system is not working that way. And so, auction will be run, auction will be fabulous, etc, and then I shall take my bow and get a damn job that pays me to show up.

I love what she said in the same post linked above:

What the hell people. Just pay your taxes! And go vote for higher school taxes if that’s what it takes, and if you’ve got a wad of money extra then give it to the district so they can spread it out fairly, or donate it to the Teachers’ Union to help the teachers get some decent pay. Instead of dicking around endlessly organizing your Box Tops and your toy drives. It drives me crazy… Go get a job. Instead by volunteering you are enabling a classist system that means schools that serve wealthy populations get decent funding, and schools where there aren’t a bunch of housewife-role-filling parents don’t. Plus, women pressured to systematically disempower themselves by doing unpaid political and fundraising work. That is bogus! I respect organizations like the PTA, and the women who do the difficult politics of them, and YET… again… how about making those jobs into REAL PAID JOBS. You’re doing work, ladies. Demand a paycheck for it. What are you teaching your sons and daughters in this meta message? That you… that mothers… that women’s work is invisible and unworthy of being considered “real” work.

That is awesome.

Excuse me, miss, I forgot your name, thank you, God bless you, good night, I came.