Last night we went to the 4,000th Survivor’s Banquet for the Puget Sound Mycological Society. There were about 100 people there so I guess a lot of people survive. They had a few schmancy chefs and everything was all mushrooms all the time. Mushroom soup. Mushroom salad. I encountered mushroom pataaaaay. Then, of course, the chicken had a mushroom ragout on it. The dessert was shaped like a mushroom, but did not contain mushrooms (I think).
The servers were pouring champagne for a toast as one of the founding members had died recently. I was sipping on mine and a server came up and topped my glass. “You’re going to want to SAVE some champagne for the toast,” she told me sternly. I just looked at her. I felt like I had just Bushuru’ed all over the flower arrangement or something.
Someone was awarded the Golden Mushroom award, and I found it awesome that such a thing exists. You get a golden chanterelle pin, which is at least worth the price of admission. This is a crowd that obviously enjoys their NOMs if they are willing to go out in the natures and procure it themselves. So after dinner, the schmancy main chef and pastry chef, who are members, came out and spoke. Where else can you go to a banquet where the chef speaks?
On the way there I saw a billboard hawking something called Moonvertising. Since I don’t yet have the internet in my arm, I flipped out and called a couple of my friends. “Explain this fuckery,” I demanded, but they could not. When I came home, I googled it and discovered Rolling Rock, which is the shittest beer on the planet, is threatening to become the shittiest beer on the moon as well.
I know I fall under the category of “crackpot” in about twelve different ways before noon, but I find this idea, even in jest, infuriating. It has to be not a huge deal because none of the real news services have picked it up. I think they are going to get a lot of attention but I think it will backfire.
When I got to the part in The Time Machine where the moon cracked up like a broken molar I cried while reading it. I have had nightmares since I was a little kid about people fucking with the moon and it always freaks me out. It was hard to get to sleep last night. Not much bothers me in the scheme of “idiocy the rest of the world is up to” but I will take to the streets with a pitchfork if they try this.
PS, your moonvertising site is slow and sucks, and even my grandma who tried to answer a mouse that she thought was ringing once knows it. YOU SUCK.