Okay! So a couple of days ago I asked you about this little ensembluh. Like the good Citizens of Assholeport that you are, you had opinions! Lots of them. Some of you hated the tights. Some of you liked my legs (which is probably because the tights hide my gills and scales). Anyway, these are the results: YOU’RE ALL BANNED.

J/K, J/K. I meant to say, thanks. And here’s the real results:

34 (35%) of you said, “Yes, PLZ” to the shoes and skirt.

64 (65%) of you said, “Hellz to the noes” to the shoes and skirt.

THANK YOU.

The wager: I showed Companion my new denim skirt, and I was thinking about what shoes to pair them with. As you may guess, there is a Cast of Tens to choose from. Companion immediately seized upon the shoes in the picture, which I don’t know if I’ve even worn since we’ve been together. I bought them in the amazing year 1999, for that New Year’s party where SeaFed’s parents rented a whole museum. Crazy, huh?

Anyway, I find them to be out of style for the time being. Also, in a fit of hotel room boredom, I painted the buckle to match my dress. Which I recommend if a buckle is too brassy or something, but maybe not burgundy. Maybe black instead. I dunno.

I keep them around as emergency backup shoes now. I find that when I have an argument with someone, I am really enjoying taking it to a poll. My reward for this one, on top of being right, is that I don’t have to wear them for a night out with Babydaddy, which was to be my punishment if you all said “Yes PLZ.”

The End.

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–Henri Estienne

Me: Our new neighbor thought that the bike parts you hung to spraypaint were art.
Companion: Ha!
Me: I know. They are so young.
Companion: We should invite them over and give them beers.
Me: Oh yeah?
Companion: Then they will say a bunch of stupid stuff they think is true.

[15:21] * Foregone goes looking for some good buttsex porn.
[15:28] Foregone: … and once again my sanity returns.
[15:29] Foregone: So, what’re you up to?
[15:30] SJ: yikes.
[15:30] SJ: Just talking to Ro.
[15:30] Foregone: Yikes?
[15:31] SJ: Did you just go punch the bishop?
[15:31] Foregone: Don’t be frightened by the clock. Wanking so you can stop thinking about sex is a lot different from actual fucking.
[15:31] Foregone: Rest assured that I have plenty of stamina.
[15:31] SJ: I’m not. I just think it’s funny yhat y lol
[15:31] SJ: tears

Other than that I’ve just been eating Honeycomb all day. Dammit PMS, you are a cruel mistress. Also, I have been rethinking my choice of chat companions.

I have replaced one of my favorite images of that handsome devil David Lee Roth, which has been hotlinked by a less-scrupulous blogger, with that of the perennial favorite, goatse. BEHOLD the power of technorati, and also the power of twelveness.

I would have politely asked him to save the image to Blogger’s server, but he doesn’t take anon comments. Oh wells.This is why I usually name my images some gibberish thing that won’t come up on goog images.

What is hotlinking?
Here is a boring article on wikipedia about hotlinking. Moar hotlinks. And even moar on grimthing.

WARNING: Goatse image after jump.

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Looks like Britney’s dating one of her old bodyguards. It’s just like that horrible, horrible movie…what was that called again? The one with Robin Hood and Crackney Dallas or whatever?

Hmmp.

This is a request and dedication to Companion, who often sings the Divinyls in the boudoir. Imagine me saying that while grinding my toofs into little crumbly bits. And then he expects me to put out. FTL.

Props to Alaskadaisy, who made this.

I found this clip of Mika Brzezinski, a journalist for MSNBC, who got so irate that Paris Hilton was her top news story, that she ended up tearing up the story and shredding it. She tried to burn it and her co-anchors took the lighter away.

She was doing really well with it, but her jackass co-anchors insisted on showing a clip of Paris leaving prison anyway. And somehow Mika managed not to knock their fucking heads together. Way to buck off the Newstainment. Well, played Mika.

I don’t have cable, so please don’t ruin this for me by telling me that Mika heats her house by shoveling puppies into a furnace or that she has a swastika shaved into the back of her perfect news-coif. You can tell me that tomorrow, but not today.

I just found a Greek cel phone ad done by Peter Bagge. The television is pregnant and an ultrasound technician runs in to give it an ultrasound, and it is pregnant with a cel phone. I learn something new every day on the internets. It kind of makes me wish I’d given birth to a cel phone, which would have been easier than what actually happened.

Also, in between writing for (potential) dollars offline, I am working on the next PNW’ed. I can’t just leave unicorn and cat stranded, can I?

Confidential to CB: Tell me how you got the jelly jar stuck there in the first place, and then I will help you. Also, send pictures next time.

PS: While we’re on the subject of things stuck in people’s rectums, I am wondering if anyone can help me. I am looking for some old school doorknocker earrings a la:

Got any sitting around from an old ex-boyfriend or something? Gold is ideal, and any random name will do. Nicknames are a plus. The bigger the better. Let’s talk…email me at DopemoneyGstringdogg@iasshole.org. Thanks kids.

SCREEM! There’s a Kwik-E-Mart in Seattle! I know what I’m doing tomorrow! Rad.

Paris is out.

ETA: 6/8: WAIT! PARIS IS BACK IN! Oh, there is a Satan after all.

This actually made me laugh. It’s so rare to find well-done parody. But can I say I hate YouTube’s new feature of making other videos popup on mouseover? As if people need more help being ADD.