Ask Brian Warner!

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Dear Mr. Manson,

I want to not be a poseur, and live like every day is Halloween, but my family and I are struggling with it. Plus, my toddler whines when I leave her in her boned corset all day. And now my husband is talking about switching to “goth weekends” only. What should I do?

Worship Him,

Cake and Mommery

Dear CAM,

Halloween is a night for amateurs. I dress up and feel dark and moody all year, so I never wear a costume on Halloween. I never go out that night. I just stay in and wait for all the poseurs to go home.*

Fuck off,

Marilyn

* Quoted from People, 11/6/06

I loves this nutter.

Dove Real Beauty Campaign

People who read this junk tip regular know that I am really interested in photoshop magic. Today I found a little film/commercial on YouTube by Dove that shows the transformation of a model–being made-up, photographed, photochopped, and then put on a billboard for the idolators.

It made it more clear to me why people in magazines can look sort of like themselves…but not quite right. I know this is a dumb ol’ sci-fi idea, but why don’t they just cgi-up some babes, and then they don’t have to worry about models not showing up?

Healed By VITAS.

Oh, Vitas, you have healed my sinusitis.

Ah, not really. But you did almost make my head explode, which is one way to salve my problem. Watch until about 1:15 for the payoff. Until then you can enjoy the random mugging this guy does. I love this FREAK!

If my sinuses get pressurey enough will my brain asplode out of my ears? Just wondering.

Love, Mule Brenner

“You mean like the backseat of a Volkswagen?”

Just assume all links may lead to graphic pics today, m’kay?

Holy crap, you guys. This loc, Jason Fortuny, recently posed as a woman on Seattle craigslist’s “casual encounters” section looking for a dominant male for some no-strings humpin’. There was an extremely graphic picture included of a woman bent over and letting it all hang out. He requested stats and a “face pic” as a response to the ad.

AND THEN HE POSTED ALL THE RESULTS. Pictures. Names. Phone numbers. Some of these men are married. Whoops.

When you use craigslist like this, and give out your information, there is no way of ensuring it won’t fall into the wrong hands. Copycat pranks like this are already springing up around the country.

Boy howdy, I feel nervous about anyone having starkers pics of me, let alone emailing them to someone who is representing “herself” as a wide-open beaver. Seriously? Is it worth it? I suppose that if you sent a nice email without pictures and said, “let’s meet in a coffee shop and we can decide from there if I would like to beat you,” you’d probably get deleted.

On the other hand, QUICK, SEATTLE LADIES! Run over there and see if anyone you’ve dated is on the list!!! I love the one that a guy sent that has his peen in another girl’s mouth. YEEEAH, women love that klassy stuff. Don’t tell Companion, but I am praying that for my birthday he will give me a framed picture of him and his ex-girlfriend!

Today, the PNW is not boring.

Jason Fortuny’s LJ
An entry where he discusses the fallout.
Great analysis over on Waxy.org.
Encyclopedia Dramatica has the whole shameful list.

Update! O HAY SIR, please don’t send in a picture of yourself at Disneyland??? with your wife cropped out whilst trolling for sex. kthx.

Update! Because I am a rogue librarian and stuff, and because the original Encyclopedia Dramatica post is now inaccessible because the server blew up (hmm, that’s weird, huh?) here is the Google cache for this entry.

“Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk. “

Daniel goes peanut butter bonkers on his hair. I think he needs to do a write up on this, or at least mention how long he’s been a hair farmer for. Holy fucking crap. Even if you don’t know Daniel from Adam’s Housecat, it’s still a cool series of pictures. Daniel is my Bitchmaster.

Daniel is officially my Oldest Friend Who Will Deign To Be in the Same Room as Me.

His accomplice was the lovely Zan, who resides over yonder.

In Other News: Assault…Is Comin’, Assault…Is Comin’

Tonight I will be seeing Daniel’s shiny head in person, as we are attending DJ Assault together. I’ll be at Bumbershoot tomorrow, but tonight it’s time for some hardcore ghetto tech. Doors at NINE, BREECHES. Hopefully they will be doling out Pussy By the Pound.