Okay! AnEmily tells me via comments that OG Listerine is the way to go to nuke the little bitches off your head but good. Two nights of Nix and something like $40 later did not fix me up. I have the suggestive typing thing built into my browser, my favorite, and interestingly it suggested “listerine kills lice” as I began typing Listerine. Hooked on Groogle works for me.

TODAY! We have a trip to One (1) Fred Meyer! We purchase many showacaps. And generic Listerine, which was two bones cheaper and when I compared ingredients they were the same! Here I sit with OG Antiseptic Mouth Rinse on my head, dabbing at the occasional drips that leak out of my purple and white polka-dotted pink cap.

According to my learnings at the People’s Pharmacy with Joe and Terry Graedon, you can also do a second step and squirt your head with white vinegar to loosen the FLEA SPIT JIBBLIES JIBBLIES JIBBLIES JIBBLIES

…and then supposedly some of the nits will rinse out. Apparently some parents even use it as a preventive measure, spraying it in before school on Mondays. Interesting.

And when the lice are gone, I can drink the rest of the juice. HA HA, just kidding. I only drink green Listerine. Listermintz! MmmmmMMMMmm.

Tomorrow: I talk about something else beside fucking lice! I promise to let you know if the OG Antiseptic Mouth Rinse works, though.