I really do need to tell you about the frat boy booty grinding incident last Saturday when I was out with Ruby, especially since someone on the Twitter asked me to elaborate. What do you want me to write about? What do you want to know? I am curious. OK I swear I will stop posting PM convos and make a real post soon, sorry. Also it is important for you to know that all I care about is Longmont Potion Castle and my next husband Dirk Funk and finding a new contract. Mine is expiring!

LF:      and I’m like, this is so unfair
Me:     It is so rare that I am rude like that
LF:     You know what’s gross, fucking ball sack. Do I complain? I do not.
Me:      It is unfair
Me:     LOLOLOL
Me:     Have you ever babysat for baby boys?
LF:     No, I’ve never babysat
Me:     Ah
LF:     …I’ve actually never held a baby before
Me:    Well, poopy diapers are no fun for boys or girls, as I’m sure you can imagine
LF:     Eek.
Me:     You know how nutsacks are like loose and floppy and slide over something firm…
Me:     And they are sensitive
LF:     yes
LF:     heh
Me:     So when babies poop the poop gets all over their nutsacks
LF:     oh god
Me:     It is really really hard to get sticky paste off that surface
Me:     Women say “boys are easier” but I think of that
LF:     these are issues I have just never imagined
Me:      I would rather have my moody girls with their crevices
LF:     haha for sure
Me:      Sometimes when i see balls I think about how they have spent months dunked in their own shit
Me:     And I am like, really, you want me to lick those
Me:     Ok I know they are clean
LF:     I actually just laughed so loud
Me:    Good
Me:       I am in a mood!
LF:     They’re so weird. I’ve always thought balls are weird.
Me:      THEY ARE
Me:      Internal genitalia is awesome
LF:     Hurray!

(Whoa, WordPress won’t let me just drop the link in today, it embeds. Sorry.)