Dear MF Diary: Father’s Day

“Why is it Father’s Day, Dad?” Strudel said.

“Because your father’s a motherfucker,” I said, so only P. could hear.

“WHAT?” Strudel said. She hates being left out.

“Look, in the street, is that Xmas Steve?”

“NO MOM, he’s on his boat drinking sock beer in the summer!”

“UP TOP,” I said to P., and got my five.

I almost had to kill him this morning because I caught him RUNNING UP THE STAIRS with this bucket of dry ice from the grocery order and he ALMOST TRIPPED. I don’t know what would have happened, exactly, if he would have spilled it on himself, but if I had to take his ass to the emergency room I would have been HELLA PISSED.

FROOTY!

In Other News: Eggbags for Sale, Ten Cents a Pail

So, I am putting a little line out there now. The cute chooks I got when I was on hiatus yon these two months are now halfway grown and need new homes. This was my plan all along, to have some spring chicken raising funtimes and then move them up and out. Here we go! Write a blog! Tell a friend! Say it was horrible!

Fifteen per or all three for forty. You pick up and bring crates/boxes. Hatched March 29.

Saffron is a very elegant and sexy Easter Egger who will lay pink, blue, or green eggs. Dunno yet. She seems smart, like most EEs I have known.

Aloha is a Silver Wyandotte, and so named because the girls thought I was saying Hawaiiandotte. Of course. She will lay brown eggs and is VERY OMG PRITTY.

My favorite, who I will be sorry to let go, is Rose the Giant Blue Cochin. She is pretty mellow and has the cochin waddle and the fuzzy feet, so probably not ideal for a super wet run. She is extra sweet like Marty McFly was last year. I love this breed.

Anyway, drop me a line if you’re interested. If I don’t hear anything for a month or so I will move on to Backyard Chickens.