9-Feb Dream Ushtra Asana Toe

Last night I dreamt what I think was based on this awesome talk on how terrifying and unexpected Facebook is. The parts about FB are interesting but kind of meh, because it’s become normal for many of us, and shapes the way a lot of what I think of as the generic open universe of the internet. I like the way the speaker kind of brings the audience back to the idea that FB is super weird, and still pretty new in a lot of ways. I am away from it now, but when I was on it, I found myself recognizing other sites biting FB’s steez and whatnot.

Anyway, I was on a business trip with my husband, who may or may not have been The Man in the Horn-Rimmed Glasses. We got off a plane and everyone who greeted him gave him all of his favorite things, despite not knowing him personally or having spoken with anyone who did. There were children ranging from about 7 to 14 who were doing dances around us and singing about him. That was how crap the economy was; it paid children to memorize and basically act as human cookies. It looked flawless, like they had been bred and raised for this moment. But their costumes were tattered at the edges from jumping through this routine so many times.

I kept thinking to myself, this is novel now, but I think what we’re heading for is never ever being surprised ever. Everything is pleasing and to our tastes, but nothing is surprising. I spend all day hammering and clicking and shaping until everything is exactly as I want it while I work and screw around. I actively work to push out unwanted experiences with things like adblocker.

ANYWAY, it was a dream and then I woke up and there was frost when I went out. I am paying so hard for my year of gravy right now. Also trying to get up the motivation to do some more revising on the gravy. I was happy to take a month off and recover from pneumonia and whatnot, but I have to get serious now that my energy’s back. I need to push back against the strong feeling I have of being done right now. Sometimes it’s hard to decide when something can just be personal and when it’s okay to push it out into the world. I will tell you I got to the end of the year and I thought, shit, I am the only one who really cares about this. How presumptuous to think it would have value to anyone else.

I got into dancer today and did not fall over. Man, am I creaky.

12 thoughts on “9-Feb Dream Ushtra Asana Toe

  1. Still working on dancer, meself. Good work! I await your gravy write up with sweaty palms, because I value how it all came together.

  2. I would pay actual cash money for real for a cookbook that you put out. Not hypothetical “gee, it’d be awesome in general if you did that” but I would give actual real money for it AND I HAVE NOT HAD A JOB FOR OVER TWO YEARS so money, it is tight.

  3. I totally hear you about sharing projects with the world… I look at what I do, and think… well it’s just some shit I threw together, what’s so special about that?
    I’m trying to convince myself that nobody else is throwing that particular shit together in that particular way, and the other available flung shit is of inferior quality, which is why I started flinging shit in the first place, so maybe somebody would be interested in the shit flinging techniques I put together.

    In other words, you finish your cookbook, and I’ll publish my crochet patterns.

  4. what brigid said. (except i am fortunate enough to have a job. but $ is still tight. and i’d still throw it in the direction of anything you published.)

  5. I am personally awaiting the day my favorite Goddess of the Pink Hairz reveals herself to the world and appropriate worship on a global scale begins. Publish!

  6. Hell, I even bought a book that you just had a chapter in! “Can I Sit By You?” That was a couple of years ago.
    Can’t wait for the cookbook.

  7. The other night I totally had a dream about you! There was this horrible party happening in one of those brand new condos down on the waterfront and I walked up and said “HEY! Please hang out with me, I hate it here.” For some reason we couldn’t leave and the mean lady that was hosting it was very snobby. I accidentally knocked over some giant air freshener thing and spilled red oil all over the carpet and you were all, that is a GREAT IDEA. Then we started sneaking around all these condos filled with horrible parties, super stealthy like and damaging the places whilst eluding a security guard in the parking garage.

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