Last night I dreamt what I think was based on this awesome talk on how terrifying and unexpected Facebook is. The parts about FB are interesting but kind of meh, because it’s become normal for many of us, and shapes the way a lot of what I think of as the generic open universe of the internet. I like the way the speaker kind of brings the audience back to the idea that FB is super weird, and still pretty new in a lot of ways. I am away from it now, but when I was on it, I found myself recognizing other sites biting FB’s steez and whatnot.

Anyway, I was on a business trip with my husband, who may or may not have been The Man in the Horn-Rimmed Glasses. We got off a plane and everyone who greeted him gave him all of his favorite things, despite not knowing him personally or having spoken with anyone who did. There were children ranging from about 7 to 14 who were doing dances around us and singing about him. That was how crap the economy was; it paid children to memorize and basically act as human cookies. It looked flawless, like they had been bred and raised for this moment. But their costumes were tattered at the edges from jumping through this routine so many times.

I kept thinking to myself, this is novel now, but I think what we’re heading for is never ever being surprised ever. Everything is pleasing and to our tastes, but nothing is surprising. I spend all day hammering and clicking and shaping until everything is exactly as I want it while I work and screw around. I actively work to push out unwanted experiences with things like adblocker.

ANYWAY, it was a dream and then I woke up and there was frost when I went out. I am paying so hard for my year of gravy right now. Also trying to get up the motivation to do some more revising on the gravy. I was happy to take a month off and recover from pneumonia and whatnot, but I have to get serious now that my energy’s back. I need to push back against the strong feeling I have of being done right now. Sometimes it’s hard to decide when something can just be personal and when it’s okay to push it out into the world. I will tell you I got to the end of the year and I thought, shit, I am the only one who really cares about this. How presumptuous to think it would have value to anyone else.

I got into dancer today and did not fall over. Man, am I creaky.