So We’ve Reached The Lipnicki Stage, I See.

This morning I was making some special cornmeal pancakes to give Franny a proper send off to Babydaddyport.

“I am really sad, I mean supersad that I have to go back to my dad’s today. I wish I could stay with you for one million years.”

“Yeah, honey, I’m really….”

“DID YOU KNOW, that astronauts in space have to DRINK their own PEE? I mean, they filter it, and they say it’s not yellow anymore, but you would KNOW you were drinking pee.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve….”

“I feel like I’m going to cry. And then I feel SO HAPPY again,” she said.

“I know.”

“Do you like making people laugh, Mom? You do, right? I can tell.”

“Yes. It’s my favorite thing.”

“Hmm,” she said.

“What?”

“Oh, I was thinking something, but now I’m just watching Strudel fuck up the wall with her rocker.”

I love this fucking kid. If she was a snack, I would eat all of her without sharing.

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Still Life With Babydaddy

ONE

“Ah, I wish I didn’t have to go to work.”

“I know. Let’s think about what it would be like if we weren’t too tired to have sex.”

“Mmm.”

“Mmm.”

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Figure 1: Nut Tort by Companion.

TWO

“I can’t stop looking at that dolphin on your hip.”

“Oh…Reilly?”

“It’s hypnotizing me!”

“Ha.”

“You are dolphin-safe. That means I can eat your tuna without worry.”

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Figure 2: Dolphins should probably still fear me.

“HEY! Why are you kicking me, woman?”

“Unless you’re making some kind of reference to me being a manufacturing plant, I don’t think you should talk about eating my tuna,” I said.

“Oh. Whoops.”

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Figure 3: My new toddler smuggling operation is unstoppable.

THREE

“Oh noes!”

“What?” he said.

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Figure 4: Hella limoncello.

“I forgot to get some nipple stickers to smother the pepperoni!”

“Well…you could always use the labels you used for the limoncello.”

“That would be friendly.”

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Figure 5: He’s a geenyus, I tells ya.

Webcomics I am enjoying today:

Reading Inverloch to Franny.
What’s This? …probably only of interest if you have played The Sims 2. I mean, if you’ve played, even the title brings lulz. The writer, I think, will only get better.

It reminds me of Ye Olde Playing with Dolls, when that was updated, which is funny even if you’ve never played.

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Velvet Aboveground

I mentioned that when I got my bathroom painted and hung my latest velvet paintings I would publish my catalogue. Well! The bathroom is painted, but I still haven’t gotten my lil’ ponies up. But as it turns out you can photograph them anyway.

Jimi says it’s party time. But he always does. He comes into work every day hung over, but I can’t fire him. I know he’s got a bunch of bodyless babies to provide for.

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Y U SO SINSUR, Jimi?

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Sup Gringa

For LM, iperp extraordinare, and helo B. Dewey. I would describe it as sort of a purpley color. I try to move towards red in the summer, but I have like 47 bottles of fuchsia in the closet right now, so what ya gonna do when they come for you? It’s a lot like when we were iperps together, I think. Halo was just here and she said it reminded her of Ye Olde Days. (like Ye Olde Days when I did not have this muffin top. Sniff.)

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And you can see here that my hair matches my face, which matches the rose I am drinking. Yum!

I also want to say that I resolved my grumpity hair crisis. A friend turned me on to Oohla’s in Fremont. I go to Michelle, and let me say that she is brassy, funny, and covered in tattoos, so you can bet that we don’t get along at all. She is totally doing right by my hair and is fun to talk to to boot. Michelle has also cut my giant hedge of hair down, so it no longer looks like a “giant blob” as she put it. (It was.) And I have seen her doing “normal” hair too, and she does a good job with that as well. If anyone is interested, do make an appointment and tell her SJ sent ya.

Today I am also interested in the phenomenon of Domestic Discipline, as linked to by Flea on her guest stint on Feministe. You dirty, dirty Christians. Why did you not tell me you were getting up to these sorts of things? Seriously, this is a point in favor of conversion.

Also, OMG, my kid is spending the night at her teacher’s house tonight. Her teacher was foolish enough to auction herself off as a slumber party hostess, so it’s a win, win, winwinwin. Except maybe for the teacher. Well, whatevs. Franny can go party down, and I can get the night off from reading Ramona and Beezus.

PS, watch this PSA from El Fonz from the amazing year 1984. Strong kids, safe kids. It also features my posthumous boyfriend John Ritter.

Pew! Pew!

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Regular readers know that I adore mi amore, Teh Macro. So I couldn’t resist when Halo sent me the link to lolbrarians. Unforch, I don’t know how to drive one of them LJ thingummies, so I’ll have to be content with posting it here. Props to the lolbrarians.

Touched By A Vitas

BREAKING NEWS. Some of the interwebs, which will be collectively known as Hateaz, were trying to claim that Vitas was non-veracious. That he was faking. Well, let me tell you Hateaz, Vitas is completely veracious. He is Vitascious, even.

THE MAN IS MAKING HIS OWN DOPPLER EFFECT, PEOPLE. I like this even better than the old video I posted, because this time he’s not performing with The Death Eaters. They gave you the screaming jibblies, didn’t they? No? Okay, just me then. It’s cool.

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You may also watch “Smile” performed as a dramatic video-play. That’s a shaved head you see, and that means CHOPS, baby. Real live acting chops. You can smell the chops from here. Wouldn’t they be good with a little applesauce on the side? I thought so.

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NO VITAS! Don’t do it! Only your ear-rending voice can save us from your only competition…viscous attack dolphins?

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Look at this crazy bastard. This is a smug, smug man. A glib man.

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But I tell you, I love that Vitas.

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